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Old 11-24-03, 09:11 PM   #1
rule
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From: Ont.
A Million Miles
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fgee, Mp..., and...the 13th ap....

Your My Best Friend..I Love You Eternally
How Do I Comprehend..The Emotion Properly
Your Miles Away..But I Dream About You
I Want You rach-ay..What Am I Suppose To do

Verse 1
From the first moment - First chat on the phone
My heart you owned it - Cured my broken home
Evaperated disbeliefs - Garded my obscene pride
Graduated my beliefs - Still I have feelings inside
You yet to igknowlage - I feel love to a lost power
Help my loves knowlage - My feelings always coward
This rain it storms - Frustrating the distance between
Love in all forms - Humilatian how my love is obscene
How do i tell you my priorties - your just a friend
Helping you is my life majority- but I yeild and pretend
My uncrowned Queen rach - The beauty of a bride
Deep down I feel Rapped - Can I tell you why?
Your smile Your laugh - Your everything I crave
My secret love stash - I'll lvoe you until the grave
This is my diseased secret - Why do I even pretend
Your miles away but hear it - I wonna be more then friends
you have one arm - But your still worthy of me
My lucky charm - The reason i'm so wild and free
Eternal Cancer of love - never to be have a cure
Do you wonna thug? - wit a love naturally pure
Amune to apt to the miles - for you i'd try to conquore
Still hidden love under smiles -
I'm a criminal for wanting her to say..."i do' your awner


a different apraoch....critiques wud be apreciated thanks pz
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Old 11-24-03, 09:20 PM   #2
X_JohnnyWattz_X
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nice shit man i was really feelin dat 8/10

yo can u hit up my battle honestly its in my sig
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Old 11-24-03, 10:03 PM   #3
2-Rich
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That was dope man i was feelin tha flow overall 7/10
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Old 11-25-03, 01:14 AM   #4
Menik
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Yeah this was pretty good i thought, it was a good read....the structure to this was nice, nothing really bad about it...your vocab was nice in this piece i thought.....the flow of it was good, it stayed on point i thought mostly got off at a few spots but nothing really big....overall i thought this was pretty good.
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Old 11-25-03, 11:26 AM   #5
A.T.
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pretty good flow you had here... you could have worded some
lines a lil' differently, but all is good here... your vocab was good
for this peice and your structure was good... overall, this was a
nice read... you should prolly make it a lil longer next time... but
this was good...
~AshY~
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Old 11-25-03, 11:34 AM   #6
Edicius
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Good flow nice structure, good vocab and nice immagery very nice read my man = ) ..
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Old 11-25-03, 05:12 PM   #7
rule
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thanks every1, an ye A.T i'll try that...pz
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Old 11-25-03, 05:51 PM   #8
WORD~PERFECT
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my boy never misses a step
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Old 11-25-03, 06:38 PM   #9
YJ
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vocab was good
I really liked dis piece
8.5/10
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Old 11-25-03, 08:45 PM   #10
rule
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thanks uppen...
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Old 11-25-03, 08:59 PM   #11
UnEmceeable
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This shit was pretty good. Give about an 8/10.......I wasn't feeling your flow as much as others did though, the vocabulary was used well and you painted a sick little picture in my head. Nice drop


Hit me up ...my piece is title Jackass or some shit like that
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Old 11-26-03, 07:19 AM   #12
rule
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apreciate the feeb...keep it comen
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Old 11-26-03, 10:15 AM   #13
Double D 27
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That was hot. i was feelin' that flow. 8/10. keep droppin.
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Old 11-26-03, 02:10 PM   #14
Handcuffs
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that was deep as hell
real dope man
8/10
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Old 11-26-03, 03:30 PM   #15
rule
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thanks apreciated
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