Spit the Razor Rutic...
smash mouth while these Dicks ButKiss/
stay on the hunt with...
my raptors and a muskit/
Leave a hole in you mental the size of a large sunkiss/
He Use to be a sluger but retired like kirby puckit
plus its... ova for your squad/
leave micS rapped in gawz/
Dont quit your day job/

its a trip... cuz when you hot everyone has an opinion/
but when your benieth the earth no one even knows your missin/
god watches every game From a sky box with season tickets/
Every move recorded and played back like a digital image/
Life is not a scrimage so im carful with my descions/
My vision impared with wyzdom for your empty minds to witness/

Keystyle Copyright..

Replys on Masta C, Fat and the Chronic G.

Attached Images

raptor speech2.jpg (339.6 KB, 20 views)

uppin

let me know what yall think

Uppin still waiting for a repsonse

tough crowd! what a MC got to do for some feed back

well since you aint gettin no feed ill leave ya something to think about....ya first little verse, was badlt structured, and you are trying to forcr multis, the second verse is a better read, especially the structure, it was ok, a bit basic, but better.......both are too short though...............write sumthin a decent length more like the second verse........Pz

good lookin.. its confusing to me how my structure is always off. Im use to just writing my verse and spitting it. My strenths are my style and Delivary. I see in order to hang in this rehlm I must be on point with my Verbage when I type. I must type more excitment.. Thanks for the feed back I will work to make my post more appealing..