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11-29-03, 04:23 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

Inimical

IP:

Replied to-
Nok Vision
Mental god
Deva

Perseverance of limited actions combining to institutional priorities
The experience gifted subtraction providing to kill the fake majority
Factors enhancing the molecular compounds of amune gases
Procters chances freeze unidentified results into the masses
Thus proceeding to evaperate the carbon cycle of'a curcamstance
Us bleeding yet to inticipate starvon pulses for the certain chance
What i'm trying to declare is false statements that are regardless
You want me..come get me..don't startle my peers thats heartless

My body temperature rises with the energy from the street..why
I Cry Because the only destiny you have to accomplish is to die
The agents on the street passing the drugs eyen me down
Wanten to slit me from ear to ear tryin to steal my crown
For a little moment of popularity accumilating to starvation
Core in the centre majority is I judging typically to humiliation
Riddles beyond my control known as rumours grow rappidly
But your growing like a unhealed tumour proceeding unsafely
...want me...come and get me..

Don't try to conceal the air I breath nore torture my family
With gun shots at my home strikin my sisters destiny
Gang related dealin habits that started as a game really
Now it's more of a factery job police hide from this reality
Thinken it's false mentality and theres a forest-field around
9-1-1 is dialed but there isn't even a siren to reveal sound
Do you people relate to congrigations of the daily night-mare
When the guy that wants you aims oppisite for war declared
...if you want...hit me...not him or her...

I'm disguested emoitionaly torn from scars being rusted
Broken angel wings from thoughts of who can be trusted
kill me if i'm leaving you with a problem from a state of mind
Why bring others thats suicide a knife and wriste combined
Souls suppose tobe free it isn't a human been yet it's trapped
Fools killed the rose growing from concrete left inacent clapped
Indescreet priorities if you block an inacents natural destiny
Incomplete life spand you destroyed when ya problem was wit me

...it doesnt make sence..so why create suspence..
...when you kill another..oppisite of your openate
...speak dont stutter..take this knowledge and own it...

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

11-29-03, 04:47 PM

Spike Sanders

Flyweight

Posts: 143

From: P.S.L.

IP:

yo wus up rule. this was a good piece, flow was good.
i liked the concept, vocab=nice, you had some good multis to, i give this an 8/10.
GOOD PIECE MY NIGGA, KEEP DOIN YOUR THING, PEACE.

__________________
NUCLEAR CONCEPTS- DA ILLEST CREW

Niggas we dont work with tecks, we work with BOMB threats/
So fuck with us and i'll have WORD aim FAT BOY 2 at you and your whole set/- S.S.

11-29-03, 04:51 PM

WORD~PERFECT

Guest

Posts: n/a

IP:

hot peice twin you did this right...
your graphic nature is exposed by your passion in writting and i must admit you excell in subject peaces more then misellanious battle format....do go commercial and you will be dope.

Last edited by WORD~PERFECT : 11-30-03 at 04:17 PM.

11-29-03, 06:28 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

uppen for some critques

11-29-03, 08:29 PM

The RehaB™

Guest

Posts: n/a

IP:

this peice seemed good for what it was...although there were lines that to me just didnt make sense...the entire first stanza seemed like a collection of big words and adjectives...canibus style...but as the peice went on it got better i guess...keep droppin

holla

11-29-03, 08:55 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

your illiterate....those were simple everyday words that people hear from teachers and shit and some words i've learned from reading...but yeah uppen

11-29-03, 08:57 PM

Spike Sanders

Flyweight

Posts: 143

From: P.S.L.

IP:

YO RULE CLEAR YOUR PMS, I TRIED TO PM YOU AND IT SAID UR BOX WAS FULL.

CHECK THIS OUT AND DROP SOME FEEDBACK THX PEACE
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...6826#post946826

__________________
NUCLEAR CONCEPTS- DA ILLEST CREW

Niggas we dont work with tecks, we work with BOMB threats/
So fuck with us and i'll have WORD aim FAT BOY 2 at you and your whole set/- S.S.

11-29-03, 09:18 PM

Dev

Posts: 1,512

From: N.E.England

IP:

yeah man nice drop............it all made perfect sense....lol.....expansive vocab.......good flow though thought it fell a little weak in places....but on the whole....tight shit.....pZ...

11-29-03, 09:35 PM

MP~PHASIZ

Aint Nobody Iller Than Me

Posts: 627

From: Canada

IP:

flowed throughout

structured well

vocab was good

nice wordplay and complexity

overall this was a good peice

11-29-03, 10:42 PM

#10

MP~PHASIZ

Aint Nobody Iller Than Me

Posts: 627

From: Canada

IP:

Yo, what ya think about doing a collab?

Check this out then tell me if you're down:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93392

11-29-03, 11:02 PM

#11

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

yeah i'm down man...i sent you a message...uppen for some feedback pz

11-30-03, 04:00 PM

#12

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

11-30-03, 09:30 PM

#13

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

uppen

12-01-03, 03:02 PM

#14

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

UPPEN

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