i dunno why but everytime i blink
i see my dad, pickin up another drink
dad, your always saying your gonna quit
but why can't you ever go through with it
sometimes you make me so damn mad
and i actually wish you weren't my dad

lost your license 3 damn times from drinkin and driving
think u would learn ur lesson the first trime, but u kept striving
how am i suspose to look up to you, when ur always drunk
i'm better off by passing up as a wannabe punk

i only wish you would stop drinkin and be a real father
cause when your drunk i can't talk to you, don't even bother
but all in all i guess there ain't much that i can do
except hopefully you'll stop, and pull through

peace

Mayne nice shyt. I love drops like this that i can actually FEEL. And thats what its about feeling it. If you make the readers feel what your feeling then your job is done.

Keep it up young pup

This reminded me of this country song "Walk a little straighter daddy"... the chorus is "Walk a little straighter daddy, you're swayin side to side. Your footsteps make me dizzy and I'm strugglin to survive. I keep slipin and stumblin an (I don't know what part)" It's about an alcoholic father...
This was an emotional peice and I can definatly feel your portrayal of feelings in this. There's not a whole lot of critiquing you can do on emotions... keep ya head up an keep elevatin peace

this was on pint great, sad drop but good, you had some good vocab and good intentions hope everything works out iight...pz

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Nice drop, i liked the flow

hope it works out

this was an extremely good piece with great lines and i could feel the emotions you bled into this as i read it..and i can definitely relate to this i know exactly what its like to go thru wit an alcohlic dad..all i can say is stay strong and keep the faith sumday things will change.. keep this work up..great job..cant wait to hear more from ya lata kid..

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

yo man all hearts into this i cant relate too you but i can imgan what your saying it's 100% of the real shit man


great work

~out~

yeh, i guess i just put up with it long enough, and had to get it off my chest, just frusterates me sometimes.

thanks for the replies all,
keep em coming
peace

Ayo man i can relate to this cause i went through similiar issues with my never around father, good drop, 1luv.

uppin

Had a plain feel to it. Blunt.

Nonetheless emotionally charged. Though more "thump thump" that brooding or whatever.

Not something one can take apart too much. Nice.

..resp...