http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...4753#post954753
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...4793#post954793
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=95748

Rhyming’s a way of life like a fucking knife… cutting through society’s slice
Don’t think twice I didn’t… don’t be timid… it makes me livid
-Tip the pivot and really give it ya all… stand tall
Don’t be a small shrinking violet Ya typed it… so get on the mic
-An voice ya fight… ignite it… the night… despite the lack of light
You’ll still stand bright...so long as ya words flow fuckin tight…
Don’t be nervous…cos you can curve this…jus be thin’nk assertive…
What’s the purpose… of biding hiding through the shadows shakin…
Get off ya arse and start the making… squash the faking… relieve the aching
From money taking soul breaking back to the streets…back to the making
-to Where it belongs…leave the commercial songs…jus droning on
“I shot him, im hard as fuck”, with a bullet stuck... this dawg is gone
beyond ya help…I feel ya pain it’s a fucked up game… who’s in the frame?
That’s my point there it goes again…an endless circle shifting the blame
Enflame, turn ppl insane…moving the minds, put them back to pre-fame…

First draft of an audio verse………

dont start saying the vocab could use some work cos thats the way i intended it.....i do plenty wit hvocab in other shit,,\ight...pZ

this was a good audio peace i think it will sound good, it had a good flow actually had some good vocab you dont seem to think so though...i think you had some very thought out lines in this well done...peep word p'z 7 realest...pz

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

This Will Definately Turn Into An Ill Open Mic. The Flow Was Great. . I Didn't Lose It While I Was Reading. Props For That. Everything Else Was Good. No Complaints On Vocab or Structure. The Multi's Were Great When Used. Can't Wait To Peep The Next Draft.

-Formula.

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Vocab Could Use Sum Work.. lol

No But Seriously It Could. You Had An Ight Sense Of It
But The Sense Of Knowing How To Use It Was Blah..
Threw The Flow Off Horribly.. The Depth Wasn't THere
Potential Was, Just Learn How To Gain Up To It

lol...thanx Aus.....playing ma words....get it...but nah thanx ....only a first draft.......taking it on for the final aight....pZ....any more?
oh an thanx to rule and formula aswell....... appreciated....

Yeah i agree this was alright man.....Your structure in this was good like usual lol....i wont comment on the vocab though lol....the flow in this was alright, could be a little better though, ive seen better from you...but this should be a good audio....overall this was alright..keep at it.

“I shot him, im hard as f**”, with a bullet stuck... this dawg is gone

(edited for blocks at school's cpu...^)
this line was pretty tite...

anywayz...

tha flow was off at times but it is an audio so that may chang wit tha way u rap it...
the concept was nice although u didn't get into it for awhile...
overall...nice drop...keep elevatin...

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<marquee>?</marquee>

yeah yeah dunny this seems like a coo please... like to hear it on the audio track or somthin... but the vocab like the man's said... low on level status... but yeah like i said... coo peice

not wack... just needs small elevation... kill it kid... on3

personally I thought that it was okay but it wasn't the best flow. Given a little revision I think it could be completly on pac.pz and luv

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Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases
17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him
18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper-
19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life

20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish