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Old 12-03-03, 08:43 AM   #1
Dappa Rappa
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Briefin

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It started as a joke to rip into Gazanova/
But now the name Dappa Rappa has been blown all ova/
Peeps have been Quoted as sayin im the hottest shit out/
I hear people jerk off thinkin about my first bout/
Who's first, who wants to be cursed?/
My lyrical content will place people into a hearse/
I'll rip a infectious rhyme into every pore/
And if you still aint down ill rip of your mom's fanny sore/
Ya see im dangerous, sadistic and a momma hustler/
I'll make Charles Manson look like a doggy fiddler/
Blowing my own trumpet is what it seems/
But wouldnt you brag if you had multi-coloured creams?/
Nah that aint me, my spunk is ordinary/
I got so much i can cover everyone at Glastonbury!/
But just taste the spunk i fired all ova ya nanna's chest/
And you'll soon realise ive just committed incest!/

Feedback is appreciated... and go easy!
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Old 12-03-03, 02:44 PM   #2
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted...

But this was alright i thought....your structure was pretty decent here, it could be a bit better though i think cause some of your lines are shorter but it happens sometime, you should try for the same length in lines...Your vocab in this was decent i thought as well, could be a bit better though....Your flow was off at points and try adding multies in this to help it out...but overall this was alright....keep at it.
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