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Old 12-04-03, 07:18 PM   #1
Twizted Ayngel
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From: New Jersey
Life Dream

IP:

Twistin, turnin, inside my bed, derived from my head,
Its like These thoughts and emotions desire the dread,
Can't breathe through these sheets, I'm suffocating myself,
Can't sleep through these dreams, I'm contemplating help,
Time consuming, driving my mind and body insane,
Disdain to save the way my life was, make it remain,
Make a choice to hoist these feelings up to the surface,
I slit my wrists just to watch the blood drip on purpose,
Deep red, like a bleak death, each step is closer to my end,
My demise, no lies, my eyes can't take what i see, i cant bend,
Anymore, can't take it, can't even the score, what to do?
Can't really take LIFE anymore, dont know if I even want to.
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Old 12-04-03, 07:28 PM   #2
-Negative-™
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This is pretty tight shit..ma i liked it lovely how u put it return favor check mine
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GhOsT - WrITeRZ
..Kidz I'll Cease to Spit 'Vowelz' An let the 'Eyez'-Inspect...
Fools On My Dick I aSSur You I got Chrome that'll leave your body count high-in-debt...

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Old 12-04-03, 07:40 PM   #3
C rocka
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hey this is nice really feelin it................................
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Old 12-04-03, 09:53 PM   #4
Dr.Gonzo
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Wow you had some awsome flow on this peice..i really liked it

keep em comming
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Old 12-04-03, 10:01 PM   #5
Da NFamous
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i was feeling this even though the topic is played, and Carnage, in you siggy u speeled oppose incorrectly, 1luv.
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Old 12-04-03, 10:11 PM   #6
Twizted Ayngel
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...................thanks.
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Old 12-05-03, 11:10 AM   #7
DthsMissingAngel
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Great piece gurl. You kno how I feel about this one. Just remember, keep ur head up. <3 D.P.
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Old 12-05-03, 10:08 PM   #8
Twizted Ayngel
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Thankz Ma . . .
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Old 12-06-03, 07:52 PM   #9
uraddiction
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great piece nice flow i was feeling it
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Old 12-06-03, 07:59 PM   #10
Twizted Ayngel
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thankz..
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Old 12-06-03, 08:20 PM   #11
SinfiC
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I really liked this one, it was well written. The flow was easy to follow and the topic was real deep, and you were able to express feelings and thoughts quite well. It always seems to make things easyier when you put deep thoughts like these to work, in rhymin' something I have noticed is the best things written come from inside, (gotta have heart)
anyways keep the faith and use this kinda stuff to your advantage in the future...
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Old 12-06-03, 08:26 PM   #12
Twizted Ayngel
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Thanks a lot.. I feel you on the best things written come from inside.. thats where this came from and I think it turned out pretty nice. Thankz fa the crit though.. its appreciated.
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