im settin at the table wit no cable this shit is boring/
look outside wit dark clouds and rain a' pourin/
the candle lights up this pad i jot ma rhymes on/
ready to get back ta my music and get ma full blown grind on/
it seems so sirene wit no sirens or baby screams/
all you hear is rain splashing on the roof and on the streets/
for a minute ya kinda feel that time has stood still/
not by choice or by chance its like your held against ya will/
its strange how certain things give ya the inspiration ta write/
sorta like searchin tha stars and finding a guiding light/



holla back wit feedback plz!!

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted...

but this was alright i thought...structure was alright in this...flow was ok, got off though as parts i thought...add some multies and internals to make it better so it flows good...try upping your vocab though...but keep at it.

thanx!!

don't freepost in your threads.
reply to three other open mics and post links to your replies or this thread gets deleted.
thanks.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis