http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97045
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0487#post970487
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97107

Just a little something I had typed up a lil bit back, maybe a week or two...

I know you drop to your knees when I spit wit it ease/
but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

I haven't spit so long even I done forgot I existed/
Style so Vile and twisted like a professional enlisted/
the unlisted resident to this hip hop poetry/
showin the masses that I still have the flow in me/
im like atomic weapons deadly through perfections/
even when Im fucked up I annialate in all directions/
my complexion and connections can get the masses exceptin/
even bosses in this shit will recognize the reserection/
im like a deadly infection everyone know your gunna bite it/
so I don't even bother using any effort while I write shit/
its over now Kast back in the game and could give a fuck if you like it//

I know you drop to your knees when I spit it wit ease/
but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

Now that the keys started bumping your knees started bucklin/
the G's started chucklin cause they knew Keith started somethin/
or maybe its nothin but look I could teach you something of the dark realm/
but I dont really want to overwhelm anyone so its not gunna happen/
keep tha clubs clappin like Ja's last joint shit was off point soft as the skin of snow white/
dont get too excited it might cause a chain reaction get ya brain relaxin/
im not playin tha director and tryin to call for action just a lil drop/
to stop those who've forgoten those who have goten too cocky for their spot when/
Kast is still learkin faggots is still jerkin like dudes in Mass' asses are hurtin/
my words will still blurt when these bitches come walkin or stalkin me/
your just talkin "B" this aint Oprah Winfrey im not tryin to spawn a discussion/
stop the fussing this joint aint really nothing its just something to bring Kast to the front end//

I know you drop to your knees when I spit it wit ease/
but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

__________________
Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

good rhyme scheme man

good vocab and flow

good flow on the chorus too

keep postin and ill watch for ya.

one......................................

I DO RECALL YOU AND RECall you were very ill this was a good peace and you embodied all elements i enjoyed thios alot and i really cant find a flaw yet but none the less this was well worth the read

Yeah i agree this was a good piece here....enjoyed the read...your structure seemed pretty good, just in the last verse your lines got kinda stretched but nothing big though....flow in this was pretty good i thought...vocab in this was good as well...overall i thought this was a good piece...keep at it.

thank you all for the feedback much appreciated...

__________________
Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

bump...

__________________
Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

an wanted 2 hit this up coz it was hevy, 1 of the best i seen, but tru say gals only been here 4 lil time, 9/10

try not to leave spaces in between do, but if thats yo style cool

thnx ma, stay up...

__________________
Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

nice shit dawg keep ya head

^thanx for the reply...

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Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

This is a niiiiice ass peice.. I felt it from start to finish, 1st thing I've ever read from you.. keep that shit up man

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.DoperThanThouRecords.
Kredit - Formula - Skribblez

Skribble Skrabble: Skripturez Of A Kindergartener
Coming Soon !!!

^thanx...

__________________
Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

nice multis, good structure, nice flow...great vocab, keep it up

good read man, you had a lot of good elements in this, i felt your flow seemed stretched in some parts..the last verse...it had some good lines very well done keep it up

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

Pretty good. I really liked the chorus. It was catchy. Work on structure. Vocab was great. Would be a good audio.