evlove
Ace Of Spades
MP~PHASIZ


~this all bout platnium status too scared to battle me!~

open mic opened me up to make platnium status's a sackless rappers' mamma into a slut
but what if that could've changed he wouldnt be such of a deranged sun of a bitch a mental fuckin skitz
forensic science couldnt buy us enough time to acuse him of abusin animals so he was let off with a fine
he hit tha drugz harder then went to the gen fuckin his motha ova and ova again wasnt therapy
talkin to his sista she declarin it wasnt fair to me i wanted his dick more than anyone in tha family
its embedded back into his embredded mind that doin that shit was more than fine but it wasnt
dirty dozen had to set him straight but all that caused him to do was to incorrectly masterbait


short but sweet

Dude...

That's a little whack...

Your rhyme scheme needs work.
You need to shorten ya lines some...

But, ya hit this cat fairly hard, which I guess ya meant ta do.

Pretty primative were ya punches, but they were there.

The therapy part was pretty funny.

Decent, but needs alot of work.

Peace

__________________
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i agree, i think you were thinking too much on dis'n him and not enough on the scheme n shit......the flow jus fell.....badly structured......need to elevate....pZ......jus work on it

not too good but i saw what you were tryin to say

kinda lame sayin stupid fuck-your-own-motha jokes

you could do better, just try

fix your structure and rhymescheme keep the vocab

one............................................... ...........................

This wasnt that good....you need to work on a lot of things....structure needs some work, make the lines shorter cause you have them stretched out....add multies and internals, to help the flow out...overall this was ok...but keep elevating...and keep at it.