Corrupted Visions presents - grotesque in "perfect picture/picture perfect"

Davinchi, Pacaso, Vango, Raphael
Donatello, Michalangelo, they all broke out their shell
theyve fallen, they fall, the fell
they draw a heaven even after there dead
because theyce spent there time in hell.
Mad men, scientists, genious to this day
creaters of imagination, make a rainbow out of gray
make a moment of clarity, out of a time of chaos
if you cant make 1 good second out of your life its your loss.

You can paint a perfect picture
of any life with any mixture
see whats picture perfect
when craftmenship is a mere gift

look at you, youll be perfect forever
no flaws, ill never have to search for another
your my girl, and you dont have to change a thing
your addored from your personality to your form, you make me feel like a king
people say, that me and you have gone out to long
but from day to day, our relationship grows strong
if you were gone, i dont know where ide be
well be together forever, even in my memories
i love your skin, the smell of your hair
ill be with you, through good or dispair
ive hurd rumors, but i dont care if there true or not
ive gotta bad past too, lets just say i forgot
ide take you over anything, your at the top of my list
because to me, your nothing but perfect

You can paint a perfect picture
of any life with any mixture
see whats picture perfect
when craftmenship is a mere gift

ehhh kinda odd

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Corrupted Visions

replyed to
Gene Pool
Masta C
Mc-UsKi

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Corrupted Visions

This was alright i thought....structure was alright could use a bit of a touch up though, some lines were kinda short and kinda long, try to keep them around the same length though to help the flow...try adding some multies in this as well...the hook was pretty good i thought...this was a good read...keep at it.

i didnt like it to much, its jus somethen i wrote and decided to post cuz i was late

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Corrupted Visions

Yo man this was a pretty Good....ya structure was off.....one or two lines were too long and too short...ya Topic wasn't good but it worked in the end....The flow Was good and worked with the Chorus and topic....the Chorus was one of the betta things In this......all and all it turned out to be a Decent read....keep it Droping Kuz Peace (v)

sorry gro this was weak...but it aint your best work so i know it dont bother you...vocab was blah...flow was disasterous...topic was ok but you went here and there with it...

keep it up dog peace