http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...6502#post976502
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...6509#post976509
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...6514#post976514

Come over here I steer the ship of influencing weak mindz
My evil diverts the thoughts cos im darker than rape crimez
You’ll get what ya want step over the line cos im silver tongue
Can estrange victims from a distance and quickly overcome
The unstable brain, delude it, confuse it, fill it, so it over-runs
It’s a mental gun, ive tuned it to deceive. Things are easier done
So come join me in the evil, and reverse the redrum
Cos I think backwards, so I get results before my shit’s flung
Sick of writin bout ppl’s pain, reverting to fighting, unrestrained
Deep in the lobes of the brain, locked away and released today
Gonna lead astray unleash a shroud, sick of the worlds problems
Being voiced aloud, I aint in green peace and I don’t protest
Fuck the world and fuck the rest, I don’t hug trees, I burn wood
If I could I would, if you wont I will write past the feeling brail
Cos im not blind you’ll find I declined, sick of reading the junk mail
It failed, now I do what I want within reason, a harbouring heathen
Believing in myself and anyone else who’s adopted my feelings,
Who gives a fuck if the world is wheezing?, it isn’t breathing
Cos Luck is random riding tandem to what might or might not be
Moralistic morons, acting gracious until there struck with bad luck
Where does that get them, still buried under the same amount of muck!
6 foot under, im still up delivering darkness to balance the scales
Cos too much love jus like too much pain can send ppl off the rails!!

lines were way too long - which threw your flow off

vocab was decent, the nicest part of this was the middle .. try to spit a few multi's here and there if you can .. wouldnt hurt ..

nice concept - it could've been better by making a few twists in it though

overall, decent shit ...

keep it up - elevate

pz..1

This was different than your usual bar length you made them a little longer in this....your flow was ok, but probably should have thrown some multies in there to help that out since the lines were kinda longer in this....but your vocab was good like always ....but good drop...and keep at it.

thnx ppl..any more............

different But still A Good Read...Ya structure was good but ya had Longer Lines then Usual...Ya Vocab Was good I enjoyed it....Multis Lacked But It Still Worked....Allround Good SHit Kuz Peace...(v).....

-{/]~{Ú§kÍ}~[\}-

thnx, i was trying sumthin different,,,any more .......pZ