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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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12-11-03, 05:40 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Fears - West ft. Edicius
IP:
Fears - Quik Ass Drop Trus Me Lol
West. As a brit that's witnessed a war been left with a scar can't even see anymore nevermind lookin at the stars imagine writin bars and picturin tha world from afar people trapped behind them coz wot nationality they are and it's so fucked up like young girls gettin knocked up missin a period now pregnant and the father is locked up can't even read but willin and takin money to cock suck these poor little teens never had nuthin just bad luck Edicius. Looking in the mirror it doesn't look back,interior pain,u know i aint flying Wasting time,tasting fine,and pain iside,i'm dieng outside im crying Why did i start this I'm stuck doomed everything i do is fucked up So now's its over,my minds state's like blow her and still im stuck Watching the sky,touching her eye,looking up,when feeling down The circus has left,this was the last theft,still i remain as a clown I state the fact the fact was stated but myself respect wasnt created Only minimalized to zero tho i aint a hero im a pawn and i remain insulated And Confusin moments filled with refusing dorment treatments,towards me Locked me up in my own mind,this small town kind of stoppin me from bein free West. And so hurtful to say that we're not responsible today treatin people in the wrong way not listenin to there say shit i pray askin the lord to heal and take hurt away but he's dismayed with the lack of love that we display to each other mary as our mother but we're no brothers theres no respect in this world got me feelin smothered i've discovered plenty of past ghosts like the others so scary that at night i sleep with head under covers Links - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0336#post980336 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0362#post980362 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97980 Last edited by west : 12-11-03 at 05:52 PM. |
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12-11-03, 05:44 PM
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#2
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Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP:
west.. this is the 1st iv read from you...
the imagry was there, but i think you could have expanded on your lines... both verse got to the point, but i think they could have been about 4-6 longer with an expand on the imagry...besides that it was good Ed... umm, why were you streatching like that...i know you can cut lines shorter than that... makes you out of breath to get threw that...the last 3 lines went so far that they threw the flow off good job gents, and take my advice how you want check the sig |
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12-11-03, 05:47 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP:
Fair Enuff man,all feed appreciated.
Peace |
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12-11-03, 05:50 PM
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#4
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Banned
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IP:
it was ok flow was ight wordplay ok vocab ight meta's ok
over all 6.5/10 |
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12-11-03, 05:51 PM
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#5
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Eddy.
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IP:
^What !
Did u read?..lol^ i didnt stretch ne thing Up^
__________________
Fuck you |
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12-11-03, 05:53 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP:
Yo he said to extend mine by 4-6,that woulda made my bars longer than yours,and he said yours were stretched lol ahh well.
Peace |
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12-11-03, 05:56 PM
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#7
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Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP:
4-6 lines...not syllabuls
 nevermind my advice is wrong |
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12-11-03, 05:57 PM
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#8
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I Am The Light
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IP:
Nice pieces guys....edicius i liked your verse..some people write differently not bad at all..Um yeah im a nice guy so i hit this up with skill...blah blah....keep writing and i'll keep reading even though im blind..
1--
__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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12-11-03, 05:58 PM
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#9
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Eddy.
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IP:
^lol
__________________
Fuck you |
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12-11-03, 06:02 PM
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#10
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..Soft Focus..
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IP:
this was a good collabo, i liked how the first to verrses seemed a lot a like which was good, west had some really good lines but so did ed, for a quick drop this was good keep it up pz
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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12-11-03, 06:02 PM
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#11
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Guest
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IP:
Quote:
Oh ok dawg,all feed is welcome. Peace |
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12-11-03, 06:10 PM
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#12
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Guest
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IP:
West...
wheneva i read your shit...i cant help readin it with a scotish accent in my head...lol fucks it up a lil...but was fellin your lines...flows on point..topic and structure is there...nice verses Dutch... You had the dopest lines in this collabo...but your structure is a lil fucked...just cud do wit tidyin up a lil to make your verse look nicer..lol...but it aint stretched..didnt throw off the flow...dunno where TR is commin from :|...came with a tight verse..liek i said...good shit...deep yada yada yada...lol open mics aint my thing  Best Lines: As a brit that's witnessed a war been left with a scar can't even see anymore nevermind lookin at the stars imagine writin bars and picturin tha world from afar people trapped behind them coz wot nationality they are dope... I state the fact the fact was stated but myself respect wasnt created Only minimalized to zero tho i aint a hero im a pawn and i remain insulated pure dope props...vote on my battle with amend in elevated frontlines. bye Last edited by Sphere : 12-11-03 at 06:43 PM. |
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12-11-03, 06:28 PM
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#13
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Eddy.
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IP:
Multi's
Inners Hello... ^Thnx origin = )
__________________
Fuck you |
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12-11-03, 09:57 PM
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#14
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Guest
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IP:
Uppin.
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12-12-03, 09:51 AM
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#15
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Guest
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IP:
^
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