What yall think of this one???? This one was written by a good friend of mine and I just wanted your feedback on it...its short and sweet, it dun rhyme tho but its pretty deep


Cinderella died today... and let me be honest, I care, even though I pretend I don't.

My feelings bleed through my seemingly tough skin and soak the ground, weaving a river of denial that separates you and I.

I take out the tool-kit I keep inside my heart and try to build a bridge, but your chainsaw of gut instict cuts it to pieces, and I watch the shards float down the river of my discontent.

You made an SOS sign out of sticks and stones. It said "i Don't fEel the sAme way, Darling."

Those sticks and stones didn't break my bones, but I wish they would have killed me. Death seemed so much better than facing you through red-rimmed eyes.

But the sun kept setting, the people kept dying, my eyes kept crying, but I kept going.

Be content with your painted-on faces, the Beautiful Ones who can lie, and abuse you. So let them, you like it.

They found the body, a gagged and bounded sunken treasure, lying cold and broken at the bottom of that blood-red river.

All I got to say is somebody definitly knows how to write. This is the kind of peice that is either some seriously raw talent, or well done cooked skill of experience that's been on the grill for some time.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

i'm amazed by this piece and the originality of it. Who ever wrote this should be published.

My girlfriend wrote this
I already told you how much I liked it, so I won't do it again. I still think you should join RB. Your good! =)

Hey Richie, lol.