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Old 12-14-03, 04:23 PM   #1
Slik Shadow
Flyweight
 
Posts: 104
9 O'Clock

IP:

Look me in the eye and tell me what you see
Is it countless novels of fully wasted fantasy?
A broken hearted demon hardly lusting for his harmony?
Or a simple waste, another blind man's grey photography?

Thinking harder, more than twice
Thinking bad thoughts, thinking nice
Guess my friend now, please guess once more
What was this mad place created for?
What is life, and what is not?
Are you happy with the life you got?

Put down that glass orb and crush it to shreds
Predicting the future only works on the dead
Spinning and turning, we're loosing our heads
So anxious and helpless, global newly-weds

Where does it end?
When does it end?
How will it end?

Some hate the Hizbollah, some hate the Jews
But we all love the bloodshed
On the nine o'clock news
Some say they are helping, while others actually do
But still they close down the whole damn hospital
Until the massacre is through

You looked me in the eye, let me tell you what you saw
A bruised up old dimension where all food is eaten raw
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, undigested, all insane
Murder's justice, pleasure's pain, but you can't make out my name

What do you figure, that I'm trying to say?
That it won't stop, even on the brightest day?
Or am I thinking, thinking all of it's new?
No, I am thinking you should think some more too

Where does it end?
When does it end?
Why should it end?
It's the nine o'clock news
Yes it's nine o'clock soon...

Last edited by Slik Shadow : 12-14-03 at 04:26 PM.
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Old 12-15-03, 12:15 AM   #2
wogzta
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Posts: n/a
IP:

this was a nice concept and you pulled it off nicely in terms of meaning and flow... but you need vocab and multi improvement... it was very short, but for the most part, you delivered....

7/10
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Old 12-15-03, 08:01 AM   #3
authenticity
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IP:

that was mad boi...i really enjoyed reading it....nice flow beutifully written but yea...i g2g to school so i'll write more when i get home....
peace
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Old 12-15-03, 11:15 AM   #4
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
filed's Avatar
 
Posts: 450
From: HELL!!....and yet you think im jokin
IP:

its there without doubt every day on the news, some horror, blood shed, something put out there to scare us, to make ppl want to stay locked in their homes, but yet it almost seems that ppl thrive on it. Your message was a good one, and you put it out pretty simple and clear. With good emotion. you showed us where you stood, and why, made me think about what you were getting across. i think you did a good job on this piece, keep posting.

check out some of my

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
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Old 12-16-03, 12:33 PM   #5
HotRod
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IP:

nice one man i liked it
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