I've been to war and made it back
War, lead lunging into people's chest
I've got scars from battle
Scar's from knives, shots and explosions
Lost blood.. Too much blood
Lost blood.. So much blood
Wounds, Gashes and amputations
My scars tell a story
The story of the United States
A story of the struggle
I've lost blood, jus like we've lost lives
I have scars, jus like ground 0 of the WTC
The memories haunt me forever
I have memories,dreams, nightmares of the enemy slowly falling to the ground
The same way we have memories of watching are twins getting tripped up. . .

Not really much.. jus was writing for the fun of it,Eventhough I wrote in a soldier's point of view.. I'm not even old enough to be a soldier..

__________________
.DoperThanThouRecords.
Kredit - Formula - Skribblez

Skribble Skrabble: Skripturez Of A Kindergartener
Coming Soon !!!

^^^^^post three replies to other pieces in this forum or i take this down..

-`-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

cool

alright.. i'll have the links in a few, i just got home from school. . .

__________________
.DoperThanThouRecords.
Kredit - Formula - Skribblez

Skribble Skrabble: Skripturez Of A Kindergartener
Coming Soon !!!

Stumbling on Emotions - Filed

Hall of Illusions - The 13th Apostle

Trapped - BlynedSoul

__________________
.DoperThanThouRecords.
Kredit - Formula - Skribblez

Skribble Skrabble: Skripturez Of A Kindergartener
Coming Soon !!!

4 real i liked this piece tho short and simple it was nice..may be just me but i saw alot of symbolization in here maybe struggling with your innerself not sure thats just the way i perceived it..keep this up..

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

i liked the direction u took with it coming from a soilders point of veiw.....real nice

what stood out to me was,

"My scars tell a story
The story of the United States"

dopeness. i enjoyed this piece, simplicity and all. I guess the truth in this piece really stands out. appropriate timing.

nice drop. keep elevating

__________________
"life is a game, you have to choose a side to play
if i gotta pick a position, i'mma pick missionary."

^*cosigns* that part i liked but the rest to me was too simple, i couldnt really grasp it and it seemed fake, validated by your admission, i didnt like overall, 1luv.

I liked your writing man, it's sort and sweet. it's a strong message from the soldiers point of view you know? keep up the good work!

Thanks alot ya'll.

__________________
.DoperThanThouRecords.
Kredit - Formula - Skribblez

Skribble Skrabble: Skripturez Of A Kindergartener
Coming Soon !!!

I agree with Da Nfamous.

This wasn't just simple, it was weak. And overplayed. People write scheiße like this all time. Hell, even I've been guilty of writing a peice like this.

Thing is you gotta start writing from as a unique form as you can. And there are so many possibilitys. Open up and the words will work with you.

Writing, especially poetry, is one of the most dangerous things a person can do. Because all the good poetry involves showing a peice of yourself to other people which you'd rather keep hidden.

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.