Replied to:

When the Heart Stops by Thrust
Lifes Perversion by Kastaway
My first one... don't forget to comment by Phrozen Flame




I really hope rap never leaves us
This is a topic I need to discuss
The speed and the need to want to cuss
Shit you prick... I'm fucking that damn mut
This is the shit we would be missing
fuck you man... we need to stop kissing
Let's take our raps and make a statement
or escape the mother fuckn' rap rapes
Congress hates every damn grey street slave
fuck the congress... they'll hear the wrods I make
In the career I'll fuckn' partake
My fuckn' bullies can burn at the stake
Fire burning them and they will ache
I love learning how to make them hurt more
Turning them on the cross is not a chore
Nails in their hands... wait there's more to explore
These tales of romance are about sick war
Details enhance the fuckn' words I pour
Drink the glass and have another shot
Ink lasts with a fuckn' moving plot
This plot I caught is in the pot
Think about the class that I have taught
Link to the board fuckn' covered in chalk
And don't think about getting another host
Because others can't see hip hop the ghost

uppin for feedback

Simple rhyme's...content, was kinda ok , ..didnt like this, ..but i think u can do better, ..

pz

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Fuck you

wasn't really feelin it, work on your rhyme scheme, its just ending words with a sentance added, but keep workin at it, i see potential, hold em down

Yeah this was all that good....it could have been better overall i thought...You should try to use some multies and internals to help it out though...but just keep at it and you will get the hang of it.

I liked it a little,
overall id give it a 6.5 on a 1 to 10 scale
expand vocab., nice rhymin tho
aight
1
Love

Not too bad. Your head is in the right place.

Broaden out. Try to find more metaphor for your violent urges. Be more adventurous with the flow.

Keep workin on it.

simple rhymes, lil vocab.. flow was ight
keep spittin peace

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OG Status


My people skills are way better then yours, nigga..

Thanks for the feedback guys. I'll try and hit your open mics.

the basis of this was ok...but like's been said...a very simple piece.....work on complexity....bring sumthin more to the drop.....jus keep working on it....pZ

ayo dis was ... well... WACK... no dis fa real... its just my point of view... i mean take it how you like it... but fa real... it wasn't even interesting... i mean... almost fell asleep... but yo ... concept was ok i guess... but you didn't expand the theory... but neway kid... keep elevatin...

Caesar On3