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Old 12-24-03, 12:37 PM   #1
Penskills
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From: ``Mahayana
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..By My self...

IP: 4577 CD9A

fuck the companionship of pussies who escape grips of realities
believe to be complacant with yourself commiting damned fallicies
step into the lime-light and show your ignorance and you're truth in worth
walking hard on my toes in the dark is what truely hurts
my perception ain't blurred...nah...safeguarded with rain-x
clearly sought through precipitated drops of pain-text
vision is beyond foresight, i'm 360 in peripheral
and through objects skin-coatings peeping bacterias spittin' medicinal
not requesting the respect none would give if i demanded
only that you acknowledge that death is the only thing certain and that i can hand it
i've seen people at rest be in better places than here
and encouraged my thoughts to watch careful steps with-holding my primal-fear
of limbos in sentences
i've no repentance-es my religious beliefs rest souly on lessons, shit
and when i go i'll know who the fuck respected me cause i've seen them
whether in person or just by they words
unheard
unlike these vulturous demons
wanting to hold, muthafucka, i got something for you to grasp on
don't you dare pay me no repsect when i'm buried deep
when you couldn't pm dap to "your peeps"
beneath the crust with no grass-on
not to mention none would pay attention to the living cause they too busy with they selfish-ass mask on...


...and that's WORD...
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Old 12-24-03, 12:38 PM   #2
Penskills
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replied to-Deva
ak-mixa
Neptune
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Old 12-24-03, 01:18 PM   #3
ScorpionDeathLoc
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Yo man... Nice originality on this piece. The flow was off in some areas, but the mini multies were good. It read well in certain places than in other places, but ya did a good job on this piece...

I would give this bout a 6.5/10...

Keep droppin them dogg....
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Old 12-24-03, 02:52 PM   #4
Menik
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This was alright....but your structure needs some work, your lines were stretched out and some were kinda short...you should try keeping the lines all around the same length so its structure well and so it helps the flow out...your vocab was good in this...you had some good multies...but overall this was alright...just keep at it.
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