this was some straight shit...likin it...flow was ncie.......bar structure could use some work though...you had some multis....and some nice lines in there...like i said some straight shit

does need work but not a lost cause by no means hit me on pm we will collab one togeather

lots of multi's, made nice flow, but yeh the structure could use some work

Thanx peeps uppin.....

I was feeling this piece man... work on your Grammar and your stucture... A couple of mispelled words as well... but all in all it was really good. With the proper structure I think you have the makings of a really food storyteller... And in Rap that's so very important.... in fact, there are people on RB that I have seen who would love to be able to paint a picture the way you did.

Keep up the good work.
Good Structure = Pleasant Reading (important to remember)

Just My Two Cents - Elevation Is Constant For The Strong!

Some good shit. I liked the comlexity here. I see potential and skill. Good luck to you.

Thanx for the feedback you guys, i thought this would get majorly slept on.....Uppin