http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...099#post1032099

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...151#post1032151

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...163#post1032163


i focus my mind, and open the doorway of time/
step back into my memories with haze and grime/
rub the lens and concentraite on the days thats mine/
and realise that ive come a long ways to shine/


the year was 99', i stood stunned and amazed/
this girl who walked in, i nearly runned from her gaze/
i strolled over, then it hit me that i already knew her/
but she'd grown beautiful, god if i'd known the future/
over the weeks we became friends and grew ever closer/
i felt my 16 year confidence grow and bolster/
she dragged me to the stage so i could act and shine/
i soon wanted her to in fact be mine/
so track the time, i remember giving corny gifts/
didn't know my destiny would be torn and shift/
i spotted her throwing herself like a man off a cliff/
at this guy, all i could do was stand off, be pissed/
i'm dissed, but its her choice i couldnt change her mind/
but our months together gets a special frame in time/
you blessed me and you hurt me in a perfect scale/
and so i say it so loud it could be heard in braile/

i focus my mind and open the doorway of time/
step back into my memories with haze and grime/
rub the lens and concentraite on the days thats mine/
and realise that ive come a long ways to shine/

this was iight..it flowed pretty good..I was listening to a piano beat that I'm downloading off kazaa when I read it so I read it outloud to the beat and it went along pretty good...it was short tho, 1 verse with a chorus doesn't make much sense...ur content was tite tho n u gave the message in a unique way...

peace

__________________
<center> I.J.L</center>

this was okay, but it could have been better. i think you had some good punches, but your flow needs work. it was kind of simple. 7/10


keep droppin