http://rapbattles.com/forums/showth...threadid=102659
http://rapbattles.com/forums/showth...threadid=102656
http://rapbattles.com/forums/showth...threadid=102657

if u step ta me u gon need a miracle
cuz ya drop is wack n mines is real lyrical
u pussy mutha fukas boutta make me get 'physical'...
my passion for bashin is sumthin like love n lust
its manditory that i murder niggas, tha killin a fake emcees is a must
you aint hot jus cuz u can step to tha mic n cuss...
my flow is real wet jus like ya sheets tha last time you masterbated
u aint even half of me nigga we should be segregated
u cant 'drink' from this 'fountain' get on tha back of tha 'bus'
keep ejaculatein ya brain but you aint neva gonna bust...
im droppin pussys wif a never-ending persistance
i stay extinguishin fake ass g's from rap existance
my ill-will-commited verbs is gettin me life sentences...
....blah blah blah it goes on and on ......hit me up n tell me wut u think.....ima girl thats jus startin off and i needa no wut areas i should work on.......~1~

..It started off a little weak..but..it got a little better towards the end..your vocab was way too simple in the begining..but towards the end your flow improved..still weak..but...other than that..

your last four lines were the best. you should make the whole piece with strong punches. i thought it was good though for ur first post. keep up.

Yeah this was alright.....structure in this could have been better i think...try keeping your lines around the same length so it helps the flow out....your vocab was alright....try adding some multies to help it out....but keep at it.

your links don't work....can you get me the real links? cause otherwise this gets closed dude.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

hmmmmmmmm it was ok like everyone else said it seemed u were tryin to hard to make shit ryme just let it happen it will come to u and just let it flow

thanks peoples for tha remarks.......wut tha hell are multies??..........i don no how tha links aint workin aint tha links tha thing that shows up at tha bottom of yo screen when u 1st go to a thread wif tha numbas n shit??????