http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...635#post1045635

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...749#post1045749

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...802#post1045802

the year was 2k1 and i was blown away/
her name was sue and, God, if id known today/
what mistakes would be made and the breaks that life gave/
maybe i'd still be sitting solo feeling light rage/
when i think of the situations we might stage/
the nights we got together that ended in fights, age/
is upon me now, im feeling older that my years/
as i scriblle memories down, holding back my tears/
if i could backtrack, id change more than a few things/
id probably take a trip to town centre and buy some new rings/
pass her my last name and be happy by now/
but you cant change the past at all, feel crappy and drown/
my first long term girlfriend is gone beyond reach/
so how long can i teach that its wrong to just breach/
a good commitment, a good life is something to work for/
this doorway of time will only make me hurt more/

i like that, good story i felt that. but i didnt like the hole last word needs to ryme. but still liked it. and thanks for the post on mine

i like that....gud steady flow...consistant n gud story to....keep droppin stuff like this it was a gud read!!! props to ya....pz

will ya check my shit....before live.....thanx!

Topic was very good and creative... vocabulary was alright and you made it very hard hitting and flow was consistant

that gives you 8.6/10

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