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Old 01-08-04, 04:56 PM   #1
BoyWonder
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just a quick verse

IP: 65E8 9804

yo im griiiiimey, my styles all flipped up,
see me commit a crime, ur lips getting zipped up,
i got my buddy its my gun, it stays clipped up,
try stunntin watch ur whip get whipped up,
im an athlete, my sport is to bed hop,
they know my face, specially in the bed shop,
wanna keep going?nah boy i said stop,
last samurai, i kill with a head chop,
they say i rhyme good, i say i rhyme best,
and to go with my rhymes i say im well dressed,
blue shoes, trousers low, bullet proof vest,
lipsticks the only mark gettin on my chest,
im a pimp, so you better keep your girl close
have her bent over, leaning on her elbows,
take her to her crib, tell her change clothes,
then its to tha back seat of my range rove,
bitch

yo please any feedback will be well welcome
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Old 01-08-04, 05:02 PM   #2
Dev
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a very basic scheme going... you need to elaborate on that...throw in some multis, and carry ya rhymes further, work on that and expand on the vocab....jus keep at it...pZ
return the favour.....
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Old 01-08-04, 05:27 PM   #3
Menik
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Yeah this was ok.....your structure in this was alright, it could use a touch up in a few places though but nothing big....try to improve on your scheme like Dev said.....add multies as well to make it better....and up your vocab....but keep at it.
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