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Old 01-08-04, 05:52 PM   #1
Key-Low
Presently Light...Waits
 
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My Lucy in tha Sky

IP: 8E9D 72D8

Intro: Some “objects” you have always desired are Untouchable…tha question: Is that Good are Bad?

She possesses the uncanny ability to make your Eyez Explode with Surprise/
A fascinating smile…a majestic figure coinCiding with “KaleidoScope Eyes”/
Her beauty’s…everlasting, yet only God knows…Why My Hope Dies/
Her breathtaking appearance…conquers Oxygen, which Tries to Expose her Insides/

What You See:

Her incredible physique and her face…Exquisite/
No Basic Physics…her strides take you away…Legs Driftin’/
Tests tha Limits…she’ll pass perfection, on her Next Visit/
Don’t Stress Forgettin’…she defines tha Word “Beauty”/
Not leavin u’r memories…so no Sincerely and not U’rs Truly/
Her Duty is to stay Untouchable…so tha First Moves Free/

She’s perfect in every way, she’s beautiful…she’s Lovely/
Trust Me…she’s an Angel…flying too far Above Me/
I wish for a glance…SomeThing, to Prove my Existence/
I Lose Tyme and Distance…only if she Knew my Persistence/
ReMove my Resistance…gifted…a Few Blinds First Visions/
Covet this Pearl…possibly tha 8th Greatest Wonder in tha World/
If magnificence were an object…a Blanket, Smotherin this Gurl/
I feel lyke Chris Columbus…Basically Discoverin tha World/

Your Dreaming Awake and she’s your Fantasy/
Stop Believing in Fate…while u’r Chances Deplete/
Breathing is Faint…your confidence is Abandoning/
Always Seeing her Face…can you Stand tha Heat?/
You could Plan ta Meet but tha benefits are Damaging/

What You Try Not To See:

A gorgeous body and a revolting soul is where Misery Gathers/
Consistency Matters…without personality…Living is Backwards/
Without Heart…Lyfe is an Incredable Stage with Oblivious Actors/
Hideous Factors…all in all…a relationship Wishing for Disaster/
Lyke a novel…an enchanting cover amid Ridiculous Chapters/

She Carries Hate, while she’s Cherishing Attention/
It’s Emberacing to Mention…she can Barely Read Inscription/
Her mind…Terribly Simplistic, she Rarely Believes Religion/
It’s Scaring Me…Resistance…I drive her away on EmpTy/
Men Weep…acknowledging…her beauty is only Skin Deep/
Sin Creeps…her image rapidly decays…lyke a Pen Leaks/

Her Protection is her Flesh, which Blankets her Rotten Interior/
Objection to ProGress…her mind…Thinkin’ has Gotten Inferior/
How can a perfect a body conceal…Rusted Insydes/
Disgusted Men Cry…deceived…Must’ve been Blind/
Tha pedestal vanishes…She’s Busted with Sins Pride/
No medical damages…but you cant Trust what her Skin Hides/

Maybe…DreamGirlz in Movies will Survive/
“Untouchable” is fitting for my Lucy in tha Sky/
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"I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss
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Old 01-09-04, 10:13 PM   #2
Menik
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This was a good piece man.....i enjoyed reading this, made a good read....structure was good through out this.....you had some nice vocab in this.....the flow was good, it stayed on through out the piece, never got off really.....had good content....you had some nice multies, liked that....overall this was a nice peice man...keep at it.
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Old 01-11-04, 01:19 AM   #3
Key-Low
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thanx for not sleepin bro.............lyke tha feedback.........its always good to know that my work is appreciated and doesnt blow as much as everyone sleeps on it, nyce lookin, peace, 1
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Old 01-11-04, 01:26 AM   #4
Edicius
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Dope brother..

Good flow..nice vocab , ..ditch the // tho but rest is nice, ..very good story telling,..enoyed this piece.. = )

Peep rape date..
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Old 01-11-04, 02:45 AM   #5
SinfiC
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This was tight, much better than alot that I have read on here, I like the way you discribe what you see and what you don't see...There should def, be more readers for this piece..Structure was good, use of vocab and everything...can't really say anything about this one...keep em commin'
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Old 01-11-04, 09:52 PM   #6
Key-Low
Presently Light...Waits
 
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Nyce lookin with tha feed back fellaz......no doubt edicius i will peep your ish...............thanx for opinionz...........and not sleepin, stay real, peace, 1
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"I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss
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Old 01-12-04, 10:24 AM   #7
Key-Low
Presently Light...Waits
 
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Lyft it.........................one more tyme...............peace, 1
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"I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss
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Old 01-12-04, 11:13 AM   #8
Penskills
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..nice piece...enough said...
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