“Untitiled 1”
Emcee Rashaddy

Bitch on her knees, beggin’ please if she could get up,
So like Tupac I told her to shut up, and “keep the head up!”
Later though, I saw the back and told her to twist so I could palm it.
Bitch got up and threw off her panties like she had something on it.
She was ambitious, but so was I as her lover,
Cause before she pounced on me, I already had on my rubber.
But she rolled off and was unsure, started to procrastinate,
Is she trying to harass her date?, If I want pussy why would she masturbate?
So I grab her and try to stab her as deep as I can,
Shit got loud, there were more screams than on the “Super Man.”
Eyes closed, Eyes opened, could it be that I missed?,
I hurt her fist, and broke her wrist, She made a successful resist?,
She ain’t stop touching her self, she didn’t want me,
That was a problem, wasted my condom, this event will haunt me,
I hated her now, wanted to hurt her, but had to escape,
I didn’t… I went berserk, The next day I heard my girl got raped.

What you think the next verse should be about, I'm thinking of naming it haunted cause after I reread that verse, the 3rd to last line made me think I should continue from there. Give suggestions, and point out my weaknesses or its weaknesses, Overall throw me some feedback.

Thx.

nice flow !! good structure!! emotion was nice!!

overarll nice!! add some more!!

holla

out of 10

flow-6
vocab-7
origanality-6

vote on my battle @
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=105618

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Don't sleep on this..... Feed back plz

its good but not amazing. change up that super man line... it sounds to corny but overall is was good and the rhymes throughout verses was str8.

hit up my verse on lifelines

thx, why not drop a link, more feed back, Give me a substitution for superman, What should the theme of the song be?