replied too:
Edicius
Emotion
Mental God

i dont know how the fuck this is gonna flow to anybody but me, i wrote it to a beat, and despite all my efforts i just cant fix the structure of it so that it will look normal to anyone but me, i just hope it flows in everyone elses head like it did mine...

stripped of my inner being, seeing whats not to be seen
gripping my essance, seem to be lost in a dream
i clean my wounds, in tune with the immune
consume the shell, in which i'm en-tombed
decayed fumes start filling up the room...


i soon swoon to my doom
that looms near at hand, that will strand
my soul in god-forsaken lands that demand
an eternal lifespan...
of pain, lament and torment
wish to repent, and circumvent my holy ascent
my mind invents intertwined events
which supplement my hellish descent
into this land of resent that demands consent
despite my defence im still thinking in past tense
and i sense to greater extent, where i went wrong
i didn't belong, i feel the long song of the gong
its draggin me on, the calling is strong, spawned a pawn
i move toward the dawn, i feel drawn to its purpose
my worthless epidermis is scorched as my soul searchs
barely cracking the surface it all falls back to the serpant
whose fervent attempts to destroy gods servants with tempt
leaving us less then exempt from brimstone scents, devoid of content
lives spent searching for answers that were never lent,
it all falls back to repent...

ill post my replies in a sec...

Yea this flowed ok,a bit basic rhyme sheme, but a good choice of words i guess, ..culd tell it was more as an audio writtin than a topical.. still try to in topical i mean than..to remove the basic rhymes, be more creative, .. with it but for a audio it was well written , ..when can we expect the audio version?..= )

__________________
Fuck you

thank you, im either going to record it tonight, or sometime early tomorrow. the real version isn't quite set up like that, i had to replace, and move some shit around so that it had a decent structure, but ill post audio link in here when it is done.

uppin for feedback....

some feedback would be nice....

i hate being slept on, this is bullshit...