This piece was cool...the flow is straight i read this to beat and
it flowed just fine...your internal are very subtle...which isn't good
or bad it't just rather different...one thing you should work on is
the standard metaphors people use...strive for metaphors within
metaphors<<not sure if you will get that, but you will soon enough
the ending was nice, and was not abrupt like most pieces here are
good drop...keep at it, one thing i didnt feel was emotion though
i don't know why just didn't...when you can make people feel the
emotion that is when you know you have reached a level of
precise thought....

good job

ahhh i loved it.. i wish i coulda thought of a topic like this to write about...
anyways... you hit this great... i like how you layed it out
night
day

day/night

that was dope... content was very well done in this piece...
i liked that it wasn't a whole fuckin novel too...
and it was a good read... good flow...
i was flowin it in my head to like a nas approach n it was dope lol


so yeah.. dope piece my man

Legends? lol

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No.

flow was choppy.. = ) ..

Meh .. was nice read tho

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Choppy flow?

You should let it flow over a good beat

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Its a text topical writtin..

Make it a track = ) ..shud be dope.

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I may at some point...
Although I'd need another head for one of the verses.

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Deacon = ) ?

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Fuck you

possibly

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Dope , stop freeposting :@ ..

Up^

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Extremely interesting how my opinions of this story's two characters changed with every line; maybe, it's because I am the pure median between the two . Conceptually and idealistically, this was outstanding . However, you could use some works with mechanics - but can't we all ? The two characters have decidedly-biased and different opinions, which makes for a good start . The ideas were good enough to make me mad that I didn't explore this topic first . Towards the end, though, it seemed like the topic got stretched a bit thin . I think it was partially intentional, but the way that you phrased the dialogue between the two gave me a chuckle . Truthfully, you're getting better with every piece that you drop, & that's the only way to get better . Keep going, man - Peace.

Quality

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wow sir-E interesting read here, The artist formely known as ..comes through
were his former self rarely came to. Open mic, Nice shit is on point throught didnt bore me, kept me focused "very hard to do". I really enjoyed this and the twist at the end was nice props...

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MerK SquAd.

<center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center>

Uhh...


...Ping!

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Legends aren't made every day.....lucky for you today is not ordinary----lol....

^^^
Nuff said... Loved everything about it