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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-18-04, 07:16 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Patiently Waiting Freestyle
IP: A81F 9492
Im BaCK~wit'~a~vengeance - GaTS~for~revenge~wit' RaPS~full~of~engines...
and an ounce~of~weed... droppin' fire while Im booby TRaPPiN'~the~entrance y'all got mouths~so~big not a wire will be useful when y'all RaPPiN'~thru~fences get CLaPPeD~for~ur~senses - count the CRaCK~Im~dispensed~wit'...When I been pushin the same weight u FaGS~have~been~benchin'... FaCTS~not invented; its the fiction inflicted into his CRaP~which~I~question.... Get ReaL, CockSukkah... These niggaz~been~wild... switchin'~they~styles since the Website~changed I vision~they~smile when they copy the texts~I~slain - the Truth just made me switch~to~them~Milds - like I give a fuck about death~campaigns... still got my CHuCKS intact - after this SCHMuCKs~got~graphed, BuCKeD~an~sclaped an CuT~in~half... then I stepped over his GuTs~an~laugh - like "Damn... that's the LuCK~u~had"...CuPCaKe - .38 caliber pistol uh leave ya mind uPSTaTe.... MuthaFuKKaH... Im Too oDD - makin' sperm~with~ya~basic~mess - got my TwO SQuaDs pointin' burners~to~ur~lady's~breasts - cause bein' that u GOD must be the reason everyone is turnin'~an~atheist... Yeah! Muthafucka....... |
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01-18-04, 08:08 PM
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#2
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Middle Weight
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IP: 4013 53EF
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok then
First thing's first u have to change youre style- ~These things~<May seem pretty to u but to the reader there fucking annoying to read The way u set your peice out is also a big no no DoNt HavE YouRe wORdS sEt OuT LikE This <It looks like an attempt to be a net Gangstur...And makes it hard to read.... Dont do a 50 cent remake it makes u look like a fool. I am sure if u put half as much effort as u did to ur~ AND your captials and sat down and made a nice peice with a good topic u could be good.
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Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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01-18-04, 08:25 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: A81F 9492
Im Sorry If I Made It Too Difficult For U To Read, Maybe This Is A Better Set Up:
Im back with a vengeance - gats for revenge with raps full of engines... and an ounce of weed... droppin' fire while Im booby trappin' the entrance y'all got mouths so big not a wire will be useful when y'all rappin' thru fences get clapped for ur senses - count the crack Im dispensed wit'... When I been pushin the same weight u fags have been benchin'... Facts not invented; its the fiction inflicted into his crap which I question.... These niggaz been wild... switchin' they styles since the Website changed I vision they smile when they copy the texts I slain... the Truth just made me switch to them Milds - like I give a fuck about death campaigns still got my chucks intact - after this schmuck got graphed, bucked and sclaped an cut in half... then I stepped over his guts and laugh... like "Damn... that's the luck u had"...cupcake .38 caliber pistol uh leave ya mind upstate.... MuthaFuKKaH... Im too odd - makin' sperm with ya basic mess... got my two squads pointin' burners to ur lady's breasts cause bein' that u GOD must be the reason everyone is turnin' an atheist... I Hope I Made It Better.......... Oh and homeboy I Didn't know HaviN' YouRe wORdS sEt OuT LikE This was Gangsta....... I Dont really See How It makes it Gangsta....... P.S. Writin' A verse Over A Beat Is not Tryin' To remake The Song... Hope I Made Myself Clear To U.... |
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01-18-04, 08:29 PM
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#4
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Middle Weight
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IP: 4013 53EF
mmmm that is a way better improvement,,Im just giving u tips tryin to help u elivate
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Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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01-19-04, 09:03 AM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: A81F 9492
~Uppin', Muthafuckkah!
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01-19-04, 05:46 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: B341 2263
not feeling it.. too many forced multies.. and never told a story..
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01-19-04, 10:01 PM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: C287 BE99
uhh fuck wat they said that was fire. some parts lacked mostly just the middle paragraph but the rest was fire kid.
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