a keystyle i did a while back...was originally a poem but switched it over...



Cursed from birth to roam the earth and never experience the joy of day/
Plottin armagedon, waiting to deploy my ways into these walkin corpses vains/
Hopless strays as i live to damage ya and vanish ya plasma/
jealous of all the love god has for ya, still wheeling f/ the fact he put me afta ya/
fuck ya character, he gave me superhuman abilities and immortality/
YOU inadequacies and born to vanity, not to mention the curse of fatality/
me playing the background is just a formality, waiting for the right moment/
to show god this bites potent,i wonder if it ever dawned on him that the nights hopeless/
as i focus you might resent this as i steal yo life essence, make you my apprentice/
Fuck it ill leave it up to you....death or an unholy life sentence...../
as you lie breathless, wit yo dyin senses,yo spine tenses, accompanied by dying lenses/
i can guarentee you become my friend quick when offered a life endless.....

My upper epidermals pigment is nonexistent,just a figment as the suns dawn glistens/
i guess thats just the cost of sickness, twisted lots of bitches/
all lost in an image, falling fo my vocal cords tantric tones/
stealing there hearts snacking their bones collapsing their souls/
synapses fold as i brung this doom, engulfed in pundgent fumes/
as teeth and tounges exumes, clumps of fluids, souls trapped in darkness' dungeon soon/
in a sunless tomb, i lay sleepin day dreaming of ya viens leaking.........

i stood next to pharoahes, passin them blastphemy,laughin drastically/
as im gashin another casualty,while they belive in these offerings,but they actually fallacies/
tactically told them to mumify and expunge ones heart liver n lungs/
before the suns plunge, when really i just wanna see gods work undone/(im lazy)
ill never run when guns come,
enraged i drain viens to save those suffering from the black plague/
NAH...actually i just need a couple slackie slaves/
to keep others from attacking during days.....

keystyled a while back....

This was alright here....Structure was ok, some lines could be fixed up though, cause some of them were stretched out there a bit...you had some alright flow in this i thought, it fell off at a few points though but it was alright....you had some good vocab in there....keep at it.

thanks fo tha crit...anymore??

zzzz...sleepin...