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Old 01-19-04, 08:51 PM   #1
Ambitious
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Heres Something For Your Intrigue

IP: 3D67 C959

Look around at your peers and gaze into mirrors
Through sound show fears and phazes of years
Wages of tears you write but the pages are clear
In mazes we steer untill a fuckin savoir appears
I laugh at people who get couragous from beers
Rage & weer, no rest on tour stages but Here....
Is the ultimate goal, you wrote from your soul
But broke as a whole we simply toke to console
I feel choked on paroll, cause I broke in & stole...
Hopes were bold, now you wish I'd croak in a hole
Life can turn around as quick as a day or two
Bitches clown make me sick so I play a few
And do, exactly the best interest of my crew
Look out for ya boys and they'll look after you
You can grasp it too, it's like clasps on you
Clamped, cramped and your forced to get amped
Battle on MTV look or course it's your chance
Try to get to another round you pray to advance
Cheaters with written punchlines say they the mans
But Rb representitives would only decay they plans
Sway the fans, like only we know how make the demands
Break in and stand, tall in the industry make'em understand
Take'em by the hand, walk journey's not makin the band
We talk jerseys for the sake of the great and retired
Or ones who's fate has expired, the greatest of choirs
Voices like Pac Biggy and L in speakers lacin the wires
Wit the addictive style that made eMcees shake & perspire
They'd wake in attire, take mainstream we makin em Liars
I'd grip The Band skill, but I'd go and use needle nose Pliars
Tired of the bullshit, we just want one oppurtunity please
Not a fool kid, I'll be quick to have a community siezed
Commandeer my way right by P.Diddy and Bad Boy bitch
Sign my damn self to Aftermath and just begin them hits
Live a life of a dream, more money than I've ever seen
And I'd hit up ery single person I've known wit the cream
Until the bling gleams so much all you hear is the sreams
Fans idolize you like you did when jobs you were in between
So much trees now I need about sixteen triple beams
But diseased the worlds nothin but a sick scene of cripled dreams
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Old 01-19-04, 08:58 PM   #2
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whoa man nice Keystyle..i like this It is very Good..i think ya Structure has Improved alot man....Your Flow was Good like In Most of your peices....ya vocab was good but a bit to simple in some bits...I liked this i thought ya wordplay was good man....there were a decent amount of multis In this very nice man....all and all thisd was a Nice read keep that shit droping KuZ...PeacE...
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Old 01-19-04, 09:04 PM   #3
Ambitious
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^thanx uppn.....
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Old 01-19-04, 09:34 PM   #4
MC PINACLE
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Nice piece man....really good drop. Your flow was pretty good, your vocab was pretty good, it was an emotional piece in a way, doesnt need large vocab....nice wordplay in this and fair multies. And no one cares bout "structure"....structure is for netcees...LOL.
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Old 01-19-04, 10:15 PM   #5
Young P
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Yea this one was nice. I liked the rhyme scheme, and flow was real good. the concept kind of reminded me of Eminems jawn, Lose Yourself. I dont know why. But anyway, nice job mayne. Keep it up.

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Old 01-19-04, 10:32 PM   #6
Ambitious
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upppppppppnnnnnnnn
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Old 01-19-04, 10:35 PM   #7
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lol is too long but i read like 1/4 of it and it has a lot of emotion wanting to escape
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Old 01-20-04, 01:22 AM   #8
Ambitious
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yea.........uppn.........like hot air balloons
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Old 01-20-04, 07:32 AM   #9
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nice read... a good scheme, which carried the flow well... ya said my vocab was basic..lol... yours is too... but i think ythe concept was good... and ya executed it pretty good.... so yeah a decent read...
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Old 01-20-04, 09:17 AM   #10
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..nice..very good flow..and good scheme..to be honest it was dull at moments..but..by the end you made it back up..overall..good work~~
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Old 01-20-04, 11:41 PM   #11
Ambitious
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upppn tho
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Old 01-21-04, 02:55 AM   #12
Menik
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Yeah this was a nice piece here....enjoyed the read.....you had a nice rhyme scheme going on in this....the flow in this carried very well i thought, flowed pretty smooth in this.....you had some nice multies through out the piece, i liked those, very nice....vocab was alright in this but vocab isnt everything....overall a nice piece, made a good read, i liked it...keep at it.
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