understand i couldnt be a man it jus wasnt me,
my heart was trapped inside a body, that wasnt free,
i used 2 sit n write rhymes 2 god askin questions
but deep inside of my mind i knew he had no lessons,
jus my souls confessions n daily prayers
hopin 1 day that all of my efforts will get me there
get upstairs wit tha man in tha almighty chair,
sittin carefree wit all of my mistakes laid bare
i know he knows i tried hard, but lifes got a way
of makin efforts go wit out reward, or any praise
still i had faith n kept prayin, still i held
on 2 tha thought, that Jesus 2 heaven was my way in,
i hope he feels what i think feels what im sayin
coz when i feel unheard 'times from tha path im strayin,
i know i fucked up here n there along tha way
but u know luck stuck me wit a few wrongs ey
i aint complainin 2 u God, jus hopin u know,
times is hard 4 us livin down below,
but can u show all of us a way 2 right wrongs
a way 2 move on, a way 2 turn fake brothers, in 2 real ones
i wanna have 2 believe you're gonna lead us,
n where i don't care coz i know we need leaders,
we need things we cant provide 4 ourselves,
we need saving 2 survive our own hell
where did we fail?
i cant excuse my abuse but ima try
explainin my misuse of this life while im alive,
can i confide my lies, my darkest memories,
drunk off tha hennessey askin God,
'do u remember me?'
i came 2 u a long time ago, n im still here
i came from a place of real fear
rockin a number a fro n beard,
orange overalls n tears
u took me in thru a book, takin brothers 4 years Lord,
i used 2 prize personal possesions like awards,
used 2 carry my guns like i was holdin swords,
used 2 walk my duns in 2 holy wars
but every life i took in battle now i know was only yours,
i cant explain my actions wit due reason
cause thru seasons 2 years 2 u, i committed treason
even knowin right from wrong i kept on sinnin,
maybe from beginnin it was said i was 2 help the devil winnin
help the devil bring his level up upon tha whole ghetto
help the evil spread from the get go,
but naw u said no u said i had 2 let go
of tha past n hold on 2 tha future,
u showed me what it was 2 b a trooper,
showed me what it was 2 b a man, a father a son
showed me what it meant 2 be 1
as 1 of your suns i salute ya,
God i salute ya,
u showed me what it was 2 have a future...
i salute ya

This was alright here....structure was ok in this....you had some emotion in there, made it better i thought.....flow in this was pretty good, kinda lost me at a few spots though....had some good vocab in there.....overall a alright piece here...keep at it.