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Old 01-20-04, 11:56 PM   #1
Sublime D
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Peace RB for a minute

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Parting is such sweet sorrow
one to say the two will not be tommorow
No matter how long the courtship has existed
The schism will illicit heavy sobbing and cries
The tears well and eyes shut to resist the swell
But the gates must give, as if signaled by bell
the bells rings, the floodgates open, the saline flows
but salty emissions are not the worst of the thoroughs
the mental anguish of separation is devastating
the reason for life itself appears to be dissapating
nothing matters in your struggle against death in retrograde
Just emerging unscathed from the perpetually twisiting maze
succesful navigation of the mutating enigmatic labyrinth
known as life to its many inhabitants
the events appear as encrypted ciphers
cleartext below, but cannot be deciphered
so you hopelessly attempt to rationalize your being
but no crypto genius could surmise a meaning
because there isn't one to understand
A pointless amalgam of organs and glands
Meaning stirpped away... the pain still stings
Why o why did we share two rings
My questions turn from tears to thoguhts of self exectution
suicide isn't perfect, but a transient solution
with all the intensity of a demon entranced
i bury my eyes in the mirror and study the black pearls
two shallow pools of brown...fixated on the blade n my hands
My life, it must unfurl
before i choose to end it all with a quick flourIish



(life stares at you, never to remove its glance
you believe it's cricumstance, life's not out to get you
when it's really a dance, choreographed, the steps laid out before you
I implore you, as soem evangelist on television
never waste time, take advantage of fortuitous visions
squander not your time on this planet
give a big FUCK YOU to life and let it have it
fuck shit up, civil disobedience, cause damage
anarchy fucka government , im osama you bastards
bawl not when soldiers fall the effort is undaunted
vive la resistence...flow til you die, bavehearts flaunted

Just needed to get that outta my system
I love America, it's beautiful flaws and wisdom
Sometimes you get angry, it's just one of those days


wish id written something better..oh well)

everythign in parenthesis, im not sure if it should be a part of the base....changes the mood
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>

Last edited by Sublime D : 01-22-04 at 10:14 PM.
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Old 01-21-04, 06:36 AM   #2
code-187
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vocab was good flow was ok but work on the topic and dont be so vague with it, make it more understandable

vote on my battle.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108195
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Old 01-21-04, 07:29 AM   #3
Dimez
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Im assuming you used an online dictionary.
If not then im impressed by your vocabulary.
Sounds like a poem to me but the FUCK YOU
part killed it, Good stuff.. keep it commin!
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Old 01-21-04, 08:22 AM   #4
Penskills
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..NIce...very nice...great Vocab..good flow..but..one question???..where you going????
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Old 01-21-04, 07:39 PM   #5
Sublime D
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never used a rhyming dictionary..i have a ridiculously huge vocabulary...i was personally dissapointed with this....it wasn't as complex as id like...
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Old 01-22-04, 07:15 PM   #6
Sublime D
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ok edited``
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Old 01-22-04, 07:46 PM   #7
Prevailed Rue
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this was good i enjoyed the concept and the all round base of the song. both verses really creative good vocab i ejoyed the consistancy very well done.

I'd quote lines but i'm lazy.

Keep it up man.
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