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Fuck You, I'm Iller
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Broken Silence
IP: 843C 2CD1
This might now be that great technically...
But its something I needed to write Bear with me Broken Silence.... Living life in a tunnel hearing but echoes and groans
finding a symphony of sound within a woman’s moans . . . . Player like none other, getting ass in mounds But these monotonous actions create monotone sounds only music occurs is rageful when worlds collide Then he realizes true music comes from the love inside swallowed his pride, deciding playing is wrong Time to take these notes and create the perfect love song But he throngs for a woman worthy of this symphony A perfect harmony, composed of deeper feeling So it comes discreetly, the changes almost unnoticed But now if a relationship would come he’d surely promote it . . . . Time passes, days to weeks and the silence deafens all How can existence be flawed without music... something so small Soon comes a call, so he hops in the car time to socialize And to his amazement a perfect harmony played from a woman’s eyes Pleasantries aside, they chat to a euphoric beat Together for hours both dreading the solitude of sleep So they embrace and dance into the night without movement Both completely amazed out how much a chance happening meant And the music was god sent, Chords and harmonies never heard in life.. Its like the man’s wrongs in one night had become right . . . . Relationship grew., sprouting love from attraction Hearts beating to the same melody breeding perfect satisfaction It’s like it was meant to be, two bodies with one soul Never did it cross minds that the fire would grow cold Didn’t know how this would end but both were content with bliss Both sure not even Bach could compose something as perfect as this Never pissed., Its like love was the only emotion in the spectrum And any compliment ever given was said daily to her from him Then love consummated. News came of a baby on the way. Who’d of thought a 20 year old wouldn’t run away ...but instead celebrate such a day. . . . . Two weeks soon passed and it turns the baby wasn’t there Both felt disappointed, but the perfect music still filled the air More weeks passed and it seems the melody was growing old Went from beautiful and bold to a story that’s been told Both drunk and words were said, to this day neither knows why Then came a sigh..... “I think this relationship is bound to die” The man cringed at the thought but agreed somewhat But laid awake nightly, in silence, cursing himself for being a dumb fuck Of all the dumb luck, he ruined the only perfect thing in life The inaudible sounds of feelings lost led to constant strife Depression followed and came to a head with one last talk with her Couldn’t resolve but it was clear both still madly loved each other Alone for all time, the man cursed nightly whoever said silence is golden Until the day it drew close...... ............................*BANG*................ .................. The silence was broken (I still love you Julie......... and always will)
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<center> Did I Beat You Before? Yeah, Probably -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- |
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New to RB
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IP: 1B3B C284
This was amazing..I'm gunna nominate this for legends for real..the flow was great the story line was very concrete with good vocab and structure...very impressive...Keep it up
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Fuck You, I'm Iller
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IP: 843C 2CD1
Thank you
__________________
<center> Did I Beat You Before? Yeah, Probably -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- |
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Flyweight
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IP: EC0B 84C7
Nice drop trapt.....I know how you feel...It'll get better
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Guest
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IP: A04B E7DD
bit slept on....
Even though you said it wasn't great technically, i thought it was alrite...the flow was pretty dope, you had some good internals and your use of vocab really fitted into the song perfectly. But the real aspect was your emotion, i'm guessing it is a true, you put everything into this, and you showed that real pieces don't come through with flow and wordplay but wit emotion and that real desire to get your message through. "only music occurs is rageful when worlds collide Then he realizes true music comes from the love inside" "Of all the dumb luck, he ruined the only perfect thing in life The inaudible sounds of feelings lost led to constant strife" - to name a few dope bars.... Agree wit Prevailed that this should be nominated to Rb legends...4/5 dope dawg. if you have time, not really our best piece but any feedback would be appreciated: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108666 |
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Light Weight
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IP: DF7B C8F7
real nice piece, very emotional which in this case turned out well, sometimes pieces that are too emotional turn out shite,the thing i didnt like were these things .
. . which isnt a big thing. drop an honest vote on my battle http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108195 |
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Fuck You, I'm Iller
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IP: 843C 2CD1
Thanks
__________________
<center> Did I Beat You Before? Yeah, Probably -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- |
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