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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-23-04, 01:59 PM
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#1
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Banned
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my dream
IP: D027 C97C
yo
only in a dream, my dream will come ture please listen to this god this one is for you my dream is about no war and no one killin no more bad reasons for any muthers cryin in my dream everyone is happy and kind no reason for people 2 sit down & unwind a place where nobody has a reason 2 be fined my girl would be back,she was so bright she shined everyone would work well together not fight be cool to each other not treat people like shite no one screaming no more no one full of spite every day would be bright no need for night only in a dream, my dream will come ture please listen to this god this one is for you my dream is about no war and no one killin no more bad reasons for any muthers cryin my world would be full of food, no hunger no-one would get old they would stay younger you could eat wut you want but still stay fit thats good for you, you woulnt be a fat shit you could stay up all night no need for sleep better than my nersary shit? i made this more deep no-one would start swearin no bleeping bleep thats the promise hard gays would have to keep yo waaz dat better |
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01-23-04, 02:12 PM
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#2
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Banned
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IP: D027 C97C
yo reply if u like or not or dont care
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01-23-04, 02:29 PM
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#3
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Banned
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IP: D027 C97C
reply
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01-23-04, 04:07 PM
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#4
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Banned
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IP: 0903 EEDC
replyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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01-23-04, 04:08 PM
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#5
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Banned
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IP: 0903 EEDC
repppplllllllyyyyyyy
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01-24-04, 03:37 AM
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#6
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Banned
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IP: 4A4B FE8A
please reply
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01-24-04, 05:15 AM
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#7
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Banned
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IP: 8409 7BC6
replyyyy
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01-24-04, 06:22 AM
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#8
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
you need to expand on ya scheme... dont jus rhyme the last words on ya lines, but some internals into it and some multis... the concept was ok, but lacked seriously in the execution.... use more expressive vocab... the hook was ok... but like i sain work on it... spice it up....
.....return the favour on my SS verse.... |
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01-24-04, 03:41 PM
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#9
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Banned
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IP: C829 3497
yo any1 else
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01-24-04, 04:01 PM
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#10
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Banned
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IP: C829 3497
yo please ppl
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01-25-04, 12:18 AM
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#11
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Word.
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IP: DD10 0DFF
Do Not Up This Again Or It Will Get Closed. You Upped It 8 Times In One Day. Consider This A Free Up. But I'll Give You Some Feed.
This was ok....your structure in this was pretty good i thought.....like Dev said add some multies to this to make it much better though....internals as well....flow in this was alright i thought....the hook was alright also....but overall this was ok...keep at it. |
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01-25-04, 08:59 AM
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#12
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Banned
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IP: 9466 AA19
ok thanks 4 de warning
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01-26-04, 08:48 AM
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#13
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Banned
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IP: 4937 BAA0
yo iz any1 goin 2 reply
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01-26-04, 01:02 PM
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#14
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New to RB
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IP: B516 96F7
ye dat was betta thn ur nersury shit now look at me new 1 it is shit but betta dan da 1st k
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01-28-04, 03:06 PM
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#15
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Banned
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IP: D3A3 E133
yeah man thanks someone else want 2 fukin reply
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