Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
01-26-04, 01:08 AM | #1 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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=check It=
IP: 6818 D8CC
My rhymes will Twist-Ya-Wrists and leave ya Wit-Broken-Fists/
after i manhandle you..ya ass rhymes get ripped/ cuz no skills is a main component that ya really lackin/ so watch ya back son....you don't know what i'm packin'/ my rhymes are too-complex for you to compare wit-tha-next/ cuz i got people jockin' me why you there's so many wrecks?/ In Illinois...prepare boy cuz i wont back down ima clown ya ass and watch yo style drown/ You can call me religious so everybody bow-down to tha lyrical-princess/ for instance....jesus is tha highest form on envyness/ so quit ridin' ma clit befo' i have ta show ya what this pen-dispenses/ Lyrical-darts headed steadily straight-for-the-heart/ breakin apart ya organs after tha first rhyme starts/ pop-cart ya too-gushy to push-me so don't speak ma name cuz we know ya straight "PUSSY"/ |
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01-26-04, 02:08 AM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 957F 7690
not bad...
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01-26-04, 10:56 AM | #3 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: DE17 B514
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108928
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109774 thanx........btw hea's ma 2 links......uppin....~1~ |
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01-26-04, 11:08 AM | #4 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
you dont need to leave links no more.... first thing id say is you need to carry ya rhyming further,,, yours seems to be different nearly every bar... some decent multis, but ya dont need to point them out... just smooth out the scheme... and expand on ya vocab to liven up ya verses... keep at it
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01-26-04, 02:24 PM | #5 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 7FDF 14FE
didnt really feel it, i hate pieces like this...all praising yourself and how good you are...but how can u back any of that up in reality lol...just write truth not this.
peace.
__________________
..Ghetto Essence.. |
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01-26-04, 08:13 PM | #6 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: DE17 B514
i usually dont write like this.....i juss did it for tha multies..so
~1~ |
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01-27-04, 02:22 PM | #7 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 76B1 9A60
Yeah this was alright here....structure could use some work though, your lines seemed kinda stretched, try to shorten them down a bit....vocab could be up'd though....you did have some alright multies in there....overall this was alright....keep at it.
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01-31-04, 02:52 PM | #8 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: DE17 B514
uppin'
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