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Old 01-27-04, 08:36 AM   #1
Kwizikz
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2nd song from "Unlimited Wisdom"-"Deliver me"

IP: 6F9E F23B

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109180
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...382#post1130382
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...383#post1130383



Deliver Me

Verse 1

I’m lost in action…Caught in a verbal Transaction
Counter Productive times…Losing my sense to fiction
Counter fiction…Fake ideas begin to ruin my mind
I feel I’m caught behind…Ten steps behind sometimes
That’s behind the leading pack…I feel I can’t compete
When I try to win fair…People resort to hate and cheat
Like rain and sleet…My soul begins to rain cold pain
Where I was a fighter before…Now I’m tame and lame
But the anger beings to grow…Spitting Blood from my soul
Losing control…trying my hardest not to let go
Of my minds Sanctuary…A place it can sit and rest
Without resorting to Anger, Hate and Distress


Chorus

Deliver me from This evil That’s plaguing My thoughts
I’m at an odds end…No longer Can I control My thoughts
But my own Sanatorium keeps me living sane
Til the day I perish away…And my memory no longer remains
(X2)

Verse 2

My bloods running cold…A deep Scarlet river
Running in my veins…To my heart it delivers
A lease of life...The elixir that keeps it beating
Keeps it humming away in the background...Keeps me living
Keeps Me moving…Keeps me and My thoughts running Strong
Keeps them Teasing me…Keeps them pushing me along
Makes me want to succeed…Then makes me want to fail
Keeps my brain ticking…Slow as the pace of a snail
Like a mathematical equation…I’m hard to figure out
And if my chapter ended now…I still wouldn’t be happy somehow
Cos I strive to be more…Deep in my heart want to succeed
And if I don’t get to the higher plain…Don’t matter, I’ll achieve

Chorus

Deliver me from This evil That’s plaguing My thoughts
I’m at an odds end…No longer Can I control My thoughts
But my own Sanatorium keeps me living sane
Til the day I perish away…And my memory no longer remains
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Old 01-27-04, 09:03 AM   #2
Dev
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thought, the first verse was decent, little bit of wordplay, a smooth flow and the content was ok, and feeling in it, but the second i didnt like the 'keeps' thing, didnt really match with the first verse...return the favour
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Old 01-27-04, 11:37 AM   #3
Kwizikz
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ta......just a concept I had bubblin bout....Thanx for the feedbak...
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Old 01-27-04, 11:37 AM   #4
GAZANOVA
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Actually, I Said That The First Track Was The Best He Ever Lay Down But This Is Just As Tight.
I Rekon He Has Equalled Himself.
You Got A High Plato To Keep On Now Boi.
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Old 01-27-04, 11:43 AM   #5
Kwizikz
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cheers mate....maybe u'll be gud as me one day...jokes...
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Old 01-27-04, 11:45 AM   #6
Gunman tha Great
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i enjoyed it, anymore questions?
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Old 01-29-04, 05:17 AM   #7
Kwizikz
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uppin
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