Existing only through pictures, past memories preserved
Capturing every moment, etched in time and well deserved
Looking back, reminiscing about our inevitably ill-fated past
Life was moving quick,but never expected it to be this fast
Slowing down to take a look around, analyze my situation
Listen silently for the sound, only hearing breath of hesitation
I can play each picture back, movies trapped inside stills
Forced to progress forward, away from you,against my will
The future lies ahead, holding cards while dealing our fate
Maybe someday our paths will cross, patiently I will wait
Absorb my mind with remember whens? stories tell of old
this will happen never again, a promise that will never fold
Undying anxiety, forwarding time to cure my sleepless mind
Only to look back again, forgetting I'm still being left behind
So much left unsaid, unspoken words always haunt this face
Missing pieces leave me puzzled, too hard to put back in place
Like a timeline, i can identify us, from beginning to the end
Distance defined, but nonetheless, you are still my friend
Even the black and whites still show the colors we created
Setting backgrounds for memories, every moment dated
Picture books and binders house our whole entire story
I'll keep flipping through them until you come back for me

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

seriously dope. i enjoyed reading this piece and im glad that i did. created very
strong imagery. i expected that considering the title and it did perfectly. your
word choice was very nice. you were consistent with wut you were trying
to say which is another good thing. and the structure was near flawless.

fav. line:
Even the black and whites still show the colors we created
Setting backgrounds for memories, every moment dated

^tight. keep at it.

peace

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

that was serious sickness drop probably one of my favs
it was constant and u can tell this kid is heart broken cuz
of some event, moment w/e and the emotions are put
well through ya words, i can see this as a hip hop song
as some other heartfelt peices cant, and in my opinion
thats a good thing.also the word choice ur last lines
were also illl.

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<center>
<img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9076&stc=1"</img>
<A Href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111987">t</a>
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
Aesop.

uppin this for more feedback.............pz

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

Very nice~~~good imagery...along with great flow and vocab...I haven't read many pieces from you.but...now I'll start looking for it..peace...

thanks for the feedback penskilly...much appreciated, i gotta go to work but i'll definitely hit up some more of your work later on tonight..

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

yeah this was a keystyle but the topic has a lot of special meaning to me...i keyed it up quick but i put a lot of heart and feeling into it...

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

uppity up.........................................

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

uppin this shit for more feedback.................

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

only flaw i saw...and i mean only
dont up the thread too much

your comma use maybe once or twice could have been fixed...
a touch of internal rhyming never hurt anyone..
ex:

Slowing down to take a look around, analyze my situation
Listen silently for the sound, only hearing breath of hesitation
I can play each picture back, movies trapped inside stills

could have been:

Slowing down to take a look around, analyze my situation
Listen silently for the sound, only heard (was hearing) breaths of hesitation (flows better)
I can play each picture back(add word found for a better transition), movies trapped inside stills

thats all your getting out of my, the rest are state secrets...hit me on AIM anytime, after all im suppose to be helping you

kids these days, drop a dope OM and it all goes to their head, LOL

good drop here!!