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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-26-04, 05:38 PM
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#1
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-Deliver Us from Evil-
IP: 3240 794D
Once I told myself if I could do anything what would it Be?
Couldnt do anything But open my eyes and see.. Got into doin things and Got mixxed up in drugs....... Hangin wit the wrong Crew, But I though they were Good Not thugs Doin Drugs Sendin Thousands of dollers in just one single Letter.. THinkin It was light as a feather...And thinkin things would get better Hangin Wit fake friends inatead of real friends And start skippin skool been spitt and Like as I was a fool...Thought I was the shit and cool I had better things But now im drink alcohol and getting Conevil Stressed for enternity and I thought it was nothing But Pure Evil... I had no shit...So I stole just Sell for one single ever lasting Lube... Got cought in some shit SO now im breathing With a tube.... Thinking what I could have done To be good Right back then.... Aint nothing I can Do..But go to Hell for thinkin Murder was a sin.. Breakin into houses..Do anything even if I had to break the knob... Got sent to Prison and had to give my corn bread to this man name Big Bob I wasnt having A bitch I was the bitch..While the others was dope.. Fucked up really bad by Cleanin my self and accidently dropping the soap As I pray(I lay my head, Down to sleep,If I die Before I wake I hope Im not Sevil So I pray for my sins and I will do anything And I mean Anything.........To Deliver me from evil............. Hopefully I turned as a drug addict more then Tony Montana thought it Was a test........... Got cought into the electric Chair..I prayed as I was sent to rest...
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 DOPER THEN DOPE |
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05-26-04, 05:50 PM
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#2
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yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
It was nice for your first attempt at a poem... Work on your imagery, Emotion is always present in a poem. But open up more and show more emotion. A good way to do that is to use Vocab and synonyms for words... Nice drop though
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do your research.  |
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05-26-04, 05:52 PM
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#3
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yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
And peep the Link in my siggy... Its being mad slept on and it is a tight collab with me and Wun
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do your research. |
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05-26-04, 05:53 PM
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#4
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IP: 3240 794D
Yea This is my first time...So Dont really know how to to do poems But I looked at some and tried..LOL Thanks
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DOPER THEN DOPE |
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05-27-04, 01:50 PM
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#5
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Knock out kings fur life
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IP: 3240 794D
Naw do not worry abgout it. pickin up on writing poems takes time. poem is a art so doing art and making a masterpiece takes time.
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05-27-04, 02:53 PM
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#6
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IP: 4289 77F4
aight thankx for the advice...I will try to make more and try to make it better
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DOPER THEN DOPE |
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05-27-04, 03:01 PM
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#7
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Knock out kings fur life
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IP: C1DA C961
yea see u are tackling it right now finding out how u need to fix it but with me and my battles I have problems with my lyrics tho lol.
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05-28-04, 01:00 PM
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#8
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IP: 3240 794D
aight thanks
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DOPER THEN DOPE |
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05-30-04, 12:37 PM
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#9
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IP: 4289 77F4
uppin
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DOPER THEN DOPE |
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05-30-04, 12:56 PM
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#10
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Its Da Real Deal
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IP: 9EF2 7F0D
good poem nice keep doin yo thang cause dat was real good
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 <marquee>  </marquee> No ones gonna stop me |
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05-30-04, 03:08 PM
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#11
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IP: 4289 77F4
uppin
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DOPER THEN DOPE |
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06-06-04, 12:58 PM
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#12
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IP: 3240 794D
uppin
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DOPER THEN DOPE |
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06-06-04, 04:34 PM
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#13
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Banned
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IP: 3240 794D
sucked. sike decent drop. could see ur jus startin. keep workin at it.
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06-06-04, 04:51 PM
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#14
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New to RV
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IP: DF7B C8F7
Son , u need to deliver urself from wackness... not evil.
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