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05-27-04, 02:22 PM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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[PeeP]:::RIP:::[PeeP]
IP: A849 1D61
Listen,
I'm Dyin Inside, Who The Fuck Cares I Feel Like I Been Beaten And Robbed.. But I Still Smile Sometimes Cuz I know You Upstairs Now Eatin Wit God.. I Try To Unwind But Pain Is All This Thug Bares And At Night Sleepin Is Hard.. I Got Ya Tatted On My Arm But That Don't Keep These Tears Off My Cheek.. Not Even This Dough In My Palm Consoles Me, Cuz I Need Ya Here In The Streets.. Who Knows Maybe I'm Selfish Fam But I Can't Control These Emotions I'm Feelin.. I Sit Back And Wonder Where The Help Is Cuz My Heart Broke And Not Healin.. Feel Like Foldin Wit The Hand I Was Dealt Kid Starin Wit No Hope At The Ceilin.. And I Try To Write When Depressed But It's Like I Choke When I Breathe.. Walkin Round Wit A Knife In My Chest But Still Hold Ya Down Bold On My Sleeve.. Moms Tellin Me Have Faith, Grow And Believe, I Just Pray You Doin Good Homie.. Go Cuz You Freed But We Gon Keep Smokin This Weed Cuz The Hood Lonely.. Aight, Leave Ya Thoughts. One.
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05-27-04, 03:10 PM | #2 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: E57C 347F
nice dowg....
And I Try To Write When Depressed But It's Like I Choke When I Breathe.. Walkin Round Wit A Knife In My Chest But Still Hold Ya Down Bold On My Sleeve.. them my fav lines of tha whole thing... RIP to ya homie... stay strong playa...
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Looking For Artists!! ~ If You don't Belive, Then what's a dream? ~ ~ If you can't achieve, with 2 steps you will recieve ~ ~ Time like these, I need the streets, minus the enemy, ~ ~ If their is a Remedy for the mind that controls me ~ ~ Let me see, cuz my life is draining me mentally ~ L y R i C a L K i L l A z BacKmaNn RufF RhYmeR My$tiC AsSaS$iAn CanCeR |
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05-28-04, 12:16 PM | #3 | |||||
(00)O=(00) <-- I will knock you the fuck out........
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IP: B20F 67F7
i just wasnt feelin it..u needed more flow and better rhymes the message it delivered was good but the style u did it in was weak iight elevate...
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05-28-04, 12:33 PM | #4 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: A849 1D61
Thanx Misfound...
@Insane, I don't mind criticism but you said I need better flow and better rhymes?? Maybe it's you.. Cause when I spit it the flow is crazy. Better rhymes: I'm Dyin Inside, Who The Fuck Cares I Feel Like I Been Beaten And Robbed.. But I Still Smile Sometimes Cuz I know You Upstairs Now Eatin Wit God.. Moms Tellin Me Have Faith, Grow And Believe, I Just Pray You Doin Good Homie.. Go Cuz You Freed But We Gon Keep Smokin This Weed Cuz The Hood Lonely.. ^^Maybe now that you see the rhyme scheme, it'll flow better for ya. Anyway, thanx for the feedback and takin the time to read my shit. One.
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06-11-04, 03:51 PM | #5 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 3309 E59A
Uppin... Yall love to sleep, this shit is hot.. Wake up!
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