uppin for the rest of the verses.....

Sorry couldnt drop yesterday...good luck to everyone, and good drop....

An angel sent to Earth, the one girl that I adored
legs buckled, getting weak, blood starting to soar
Dating for a while now, each day she got me riled
Freezing from loneliness, easily fixed up by her smile
Time for the next step, was ready for it all except
My stomach leapt before asking, the secret that I kept
Asked if she was prepared, Felt like a game of truth or dare
Silence was deadly, The first of our penetrations in her stare
Took her hand in mine, and I looked straight into her eyes
The problems to arise, seem swept away by her convincing lies
She said “I’m ready to do this, I have no fears in me or doubts”
Soon as the line was finished, all my problems were flushed out
Her virginity, a flower never harvested, yes still was aiming to bloom
The gloom filled at my house, phone ringing, filled with my loves doom
Secret swept the phone, as I heard a women’s gruesome voice
Reluctant to keep talking, but it seemed to no longer be my choice
“I told you to never call me again, it was only a one time thing”
Foreshadowed the sting of my heart, punishment for my summer fling
“The condom broke, and I’m expecting to deliver at anytime”
Time froze for a moment, felt like I was the one to commit a crime
Kept staring at the phone, the words just couldn't escape my throat
She said “come meet me soon” so put on my hat and my coat
Arrived at her house, hoping what she spoke were nothing but jokes
Then when I felt her stomach that’s when my heart just broke
“My life’s over I said” and what about the girl I love
The angel sent from God to me, will she still send me her love?
Dialed the 7 numbers that were premonitions of my death
She would control the outcome, give me life, or death in her breath
Explained to her what happened, an impact that rocked her brain
And then she burst out crying......feeling of death in me again
Parents never accept the child, one born of shameful wedlock
Time for talk had diminished, phone hung, heading for my glock
Didn’t love her yet she tried to stop me, the moment that I began to cry
My hand on the baby one more time, and felt forced , and relieved to die

Another perspective
I Heard a loud noise, then I could feel my mothers pain
Screeching noises, my ears wasn’t able to sustain
Floating around but sad, then these memories started to enter me
Coming quick and painful, entering my mind through forcefully
But reached for it too, new life, born again, would never have any harm
Then I screamed in horror, as It ripped it straight out of me
Couldn't see, no my other arm was tearing, complete agony
Legs now torn off, head ripped, surrounded by my blood to only cry
This started as my first life ended, living just to die...............

its cool playa.....just waitin on flow INtel and DangerousML

COuld you all please RTF and vote HONESTLY on this battle
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=129199



aiight...breakdown

Deleon/Flow
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest:

Flow:7
Rhyming:7
Imagery:7
Vocab:7
Wordplay:5
Creativity:6
Story:7

Total out of 70 possible: 46

Standout lines:
“Look bitch, get this straight, this shit never took place/
And after tonight’s over I don’t wanna see yo face/
No need to blow shit all out of proportion/
If you get pregnant you can just get an abortion”/


Dangerous/Potential
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest:

Flow:7
Rhyming:6
Imagery:6
Vocab:6
Wordplay:5
Creativity:5
Story:5...didn't start on topic in my opinion

Total out of 70 possible: 40

Standout lines:
“The condom broke, and I’m expecting to deliver at anytime”
Time froze for a moment, felt like I was the one to commit a crime
Kept staring at the phone, the words just couldn't escape my throat
She said “come meet me soon” so put on my hat and my coat


P.S. DANGEROUS...You're team really didn't stay on topic. Actually, you didn't really start on topic. The first 10 lines could have been about fear of a new job or something.

P.s. DEL & FLOW...Ur first line said "DAMN THE CONDOM BROKE." That can be a good way to get right into the point of the flow. However, it can also be conceived as uncreative because you're not really painting a picture by re-stating the topic of the topical as your first line.
Vote: Del&Flow...

yo this battle isnt done....DML and Flow still have to post there's playa
Im gonna get this vote removed

lol, its a tag topical, partners still need to drop...............

well do what u gotta do...verses was so damn long...i figured it was like a combined thing