[QUOTE=Done]The minds a book, keep it closed you learn nothing/ you ain't real, open it up then you start fronting/ talking 'bout knowledge, the good and the bad/ what was taken from you was something you never had/ fighting for boundries, a city that ain't yours/ now you got young ones lying dead on the floor/ all due to gang violence, the knuckleheads run the street/ wondering why I have my loved one lying dead at my feet/ restriction is fact never fiction, caugt in the condition of living life as tradition/ in suspicion, it's like Christs' persecution/ mental shakles keeps us moving in slow motion/ aggrivated cuz people were hated/ demonstrated now re-created by the educated/ verbally violated, now mentally stagnated/ people wanna move on but don't have the balls to say it/ a closed mouth don't get fed, our people will end up dead/ all because you wanted to bang for the blue or the red/ instead let's live life like we're the last generation/ cuz in fact, in reality, we're all God's creations!

Battle back and get attached!

Dat was aite man nutin special bu no a nightmare na meen.
U got talent cuz bu dont rap about thangs u dont kno about bcuz datl get u fuked
Holla at ya boy
One's Mind
NovA

*cough* wack structure was fucked *cough*

^^^^speaks tha truth*^* (_!_)

^^haha..lol..you ever got anything nice ta say??? yo,jus fix ya structure n get some wordplay happening in that verse...

fer real man... i've never seen virtue give some positive feedback or constructive criticism. just hate.

anyways, i thought it was alright, nice ideas and images. just try to think up a more clear and consistent structure and get that mindgrain working to pit some more witty lines in there. peace!

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