I suffer more or less, a mortal quest born a mess
Fully formed in the womb, in a tomb I bore the stress
Worn from the wounds, my best not enough to move stone
Sharin' these basic instincts to prove I'm reclusive prone
This exclusive home of peace seems to be elusive, so
Non-inclusive of us secluded drones, my conclusions grow
I'm reduced to hope for a painless death, or a day that's blessed
Just one way that works, worth testin' to weigh my chance
Where's Mother Theresa when you need her, I'm starving too
Longing for human touch, I'm not Marvin the Martian turned Q
Who do I turn to, my discernment is fucked, this sermon corrupt
It's garish to a parish that seems to disrupt
Yet cherish those who erupt, I'm indecisive with most
I get dressed every morning, but inside I'm a ghost
Confiding to those in mourning, informing most in droves
That inside I'm destroying, bad jeans like good-will clothes
Perhaps society provided me with lies, to kill hopes
I'm numb from the crown down, lyin' to myself I feel broke
I'm still soaked in surreal soap, cleaning my life is a dream
Only twice I seen my pops, Aids yanked him off the scene
Now I'm seen as obscene, locked in quandary wandering
Wonderin' which of my father's qualities are part of me
Frolicking, so far life seems to be about sodomy
The constant cons and schemes, it seems beyond apology

uh

niggas wanna sleep


sure...

Heh, Nice piece nice flow ugly slop structure tho..U have what it takes 2 be here...Now get what it takes to be great....Nice piece again....8/10 I liked the morality

Uppin for Q, Hey q gimme feed....On my piece in sig

__________________
[IMG]

word...preciate the feedback


1

i look at my life, try to decide the choice i provide my boys, when im in the ride, designed with interior toys, my mom cries i do too, no skrilla no honeez wat am i to do, but u may look at me like ima fool, i confuse words with thoughts, but i cant confuse food, like eatings a part of me but i dont look obese, my fathers deciesed but i hardened from the streets, my beats made from niggas with lyrical beef, cant eat chicken at the mcdonalds, they share beef up in a piece, please i dont beg, my own life son i do dread, im still dead, when my pops died, i lost all the bread, doe wasnt a major problem then, all of a sudden, shit was happenin, he passed away just as i was turnin eleven, he died in africa, i was in manhatten, son dont laugh at her cus i know shit happens for a reason, niggas live niggas die, but me i stopped breathin the day my dad passed me by,it was a stand still, my feet left the ground, my thoughts had to be found, i lost my momas crown, i swore i would devour all the love given to me, kill the hatred nigga im expected to be, a winner, so get ur pens up judges raise a ten plus im outta here nigga rock cashmere yeah, stay clear of the door ive seen this before, never bin shot, but i know how it feels, its like when a girl put u down from the hills.

Pretty nice...could use some flow and structure work, though.

__________________
Soundclick
NEW Myspace

...mutha fuckin word LE back sup dawg? dis virtue aka trase man...an this was aight not that good though....

^^^^^Kid, drop some real feed and stop socializin like a bitch in my piece


this piece is better than aiight...it's good

now add advice or STFU.


1