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Old 10-23-04, 02:58 PM   #1
WillNova
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thoughts of ancient pharaohs, intent of metal barrels//
to kill, enslave, or commence a worldy battle//
sentencin from a gavel dissregardin wat is factual//
anti-sabbatical, school vs. religion makin rabid souls//
same sex marriageable, scientific theory's pratical//
wantin immortality, but tryna make God perishable//
cable too graphical, porno degratin sex meanin//
hate, jealousy or harm to another human being//
iconz people believe in set up by demon heathens//
robbery and greed deguised as need creates greivance//
unjust and improper teachins, druggies still feenin//
temptations are just ya imagination constantly weenin//
God is more convienent, he's been here b4 the pretense//
stuck in this world dreamin and die wit ya soul deedless//
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Old 10-25-04, 11:19 PM   #2
fluidmoon
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wow,nice short poem,you said a lot in this piece too, liked the flow and your vocab, would have been better more elaborated and longer,but very good man,pc
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Old 10-26-04, 12:15 AM   #3
Grammar Popo
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Very nice poem. Short, but filled with feeling. Nice job pointing out the flaws of life. My only complaint is it could've been longer. Otherwise very good. Keep up the good work.
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n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment.

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Poetic Scriptures poems:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462
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