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Old 10-30-04, 08:56 PM   #1
Ice Pick
GoD LiKe
 
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Posts: 3,058
Joined: Jul 2004
From: Boston
Status: Offline
Text Record: 68-10
My Scripts = Bliss

IP: 7CC3 03FE

Read My Lips, Naw Matter Of Fact, Hear My Scripts..
Earth Is Digging Holes Towards Tha Infernal Pits..
Were Burning Quick, Even Ice Is Having No Effect..
Sheep Drag Down Tha Fences When Im Sleeping In Bed..
Alpha Letters Blear My Views Towards Life's Future..
Genesis Kids Switch Positions, So Now Their Tutors..
I Share Computers With Paedophiles And Criminals..
My 360 Degree Perception On Hope Is Now At A Minimal..
I'll Hand You Tha Gun And Yell "Just Fuckin Shoot Me"..
I'll Even Load It, Whats Life? Just Another Duty..
Expert Panel Is Omniscient, Or At Least They Think..
Drop Their Knowledge In Quick Sand And Watch It Sink..
Tha Doves Wings Have Been Worn Out From Constant Belief..
Tha Pessimistic Section Time So We Have Our Own Grief..
Wasting Our Time Like Thieves Of This Globe Of Insolence..
Obsolete Gloat About Hopeless Lives Of Insubordinates..
Numerals Tally Our Lifespan Like Felons Tally Days..
Of Being Behind Metallic And Repenting Sinful Ways..
And Hiding Shame, But Fuck 'Em Their There For Reasons..
My Mind Cycles Emotions Eternally Like Tha 4 Seasons..
More Treasons Blemish On Our Governmental Lay-Outs..
Working 20 Hours A Day, And Being Sent Home, No Pay Out?..
Gays Shout On Parade Days, Only Cause Their Different..
I Never Listen, This Confusion Cause Somethings Missing..
Only Identities And Alot Of Wisdom, Where Is It?..
I'd Rather Visit Delinquents In Jail Than Aunt Midget..
Fuccing Bitch, This Town Has Tha Power To Corrupt Minds..
Every Moment Wasted In This Shit Hole Is Like Stuck Time..
Fuck Rhyme, I'd Rather Rest Here And Fall Beyond Insane..
A Few Years Earlier This Pain Would Be Called Tame..
Ice Cream Van Robberies, I Laugh At That Mockery..
Tha Fight Scene's Man Shooting Spree, Red Emergency..
Bled Hyper-Dermically, A Sight For Hospital Nurses..
Kind Of Like That Dream Of Tha Hurse Destruction Derby..
Veins Burst, Ruptured, Ready For Surgery, Help Me!..
Naw Fuck It, I'll Probably Like My New Home, Tha Cemetery..
DONT Ventilate Me!!, Whats Tha Fucking Point In Living..
For Every Point Im Giving, Minus 2 Is What I Live In
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Old 10-31-04, 12:16 AM   #2
streetryda
Puttin MD On The Map
 
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Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Maryland
Status: Offline
Text Record: 9-3
IP: 408D D2A2

damn man that was a great piece...i felt it all the way...flowed wonderful...vocab was excellent.wodrplay was nice...structure was great...emotion was in it....overall was an off the hook piece.nothing wrong with it to me......leave some feedback in my poem in my sig.....plz
peace~1
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Old 11-12-04, 12:05 AM   #3
~Lady Fiya~
~*Duchess of Metaphors*~
 
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Posts: 4,458
Joined: Apr 2004
From: chi-town
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 3-0
IP: 28AD 5545

my favorite portion would be..

And Hiding Shame, But Fuck 'Em Their There For Reasons..
My Mind Cycles Emotions Eternally Like Tha 4 Seasons..
More Treasons Blemish On Our Governmental Lay-Outs..
Working 20 Hours A Day, And Being Sent Home, No Pay Out?..

^^i like your inner rhymes, Ice Pick, u did a great job on the flow fa real.. i couldn't find a weak spot in it.. you did a nice job in all aspectz.. , hit me up when u got sum more poems.. i enjoyed this one..
pz..
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