RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-17-04, 09:16 PM   #1
streetryda
Puttin MD On The Map
 
streetryda's Avatar
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Maryland
Status: Offline
Text Record: 9-3
A Heart Split In Two Ft. "fi-del"

IP: 408D D2A2

streetryda:

girl you got my mind shrouded and clouded with your beautiful face...
embrace my feelings, im astounded that u invited me inside ya place...
fazed by ur grace and amazed by the chalantness that your flauntin...
wantin ya to remain taunting my testosterone, giving me jauntiness...
distrought wits is the feeling im left with when you've been around...
pounded the wall when i found out i couldnt come cuz im grounded...
rerouted the path and laugh at all the mistakes i made in the past...
at last i think i found someone to be mine, hope dont go too fast...
drafted and crafted you into my life that is filled with complexity...
expectedly directed u to be the only one thats to be next to me...
sexually active and left me distracted and pheenin and scheemin...
believin ya when you said i was the best and that you werent leavin...
treating ya to the rest of the world cuz ya keep leavin me swirled...
twirled ya around the dance floor and ill buy diamonds and pearls...
girl you dont understand the heart of this man i hope we're forever...
severd my arteriers and cut out my heart when i got more clever....
rememberd that guy you called but i didnt think anything about him...
shoutin at you cuz im hating myself for the emotions now doubted...
mounted my heart on the shelf so everyone would see my feelings...
kneeling and praying that my sins, could i repent all of my dealings...
stealing my heart was something that is thought to become love...
tugged at my emotions, only person to turn to is the lord above...
erase my steps, no trace is left to where we only came direct...
correct my wrongs and i despise your eyes is what u should expect...
infect ya mind and stress this knife comin by the end of the night...
rewrite my rhymes to express my mind about how ima end ya life...
scrpits cant contain what remains to be said about this stupid bitch...

yo tell em "fi-del"

"fi-del":

fuck this bitch she too quick to switch then ditch
she's like my nervous twitch..never leaving me alone
Think's she royalty..like she needing a throne.
if I was about to die..id rather be bleeding,gone..
.than seeing her face right before my death.
she kisse's me ..then sez she adore's my breath.
damn this bitch bore's me as if we have nothing left
she ignore's me then left me out in the cold.
im doubting she know's the meaning of love.
im talking to god.. but it's like she's screaming above.
im feinding to shove..this bitch of bridge...
or better yet..bury her in a ditch on the ridge.
i may kill her then freeze this bitch in a fridge..
im unsure how much longer this torment will last
she's turned out to be a permanent task...
......... but then i spark an idea............
maybe if i showed her i care.. like holding her near.
i know that she fear's sentimentle healing's.
..but if I give her love it might repent all feeling's..
I whisper into her ear.. how long will it last?
she turned and started into my eye's ..looking so vast...
i could tell her mind was racing thinking so fast..
.i told her ..this isnt a joke..this vision proke's..
i want to make her more positive with more self esteem..
i told her..."i love you,I wanna build myself a team",
her eye's start to gleam...she say's what do you mean?
i start explaining how she brought out the man in me..
...let's create our own family..
__________________


.:Retired:.
Send a message via AIM to streetryda   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-04, 09:21 PM   #2
4Blood2Hound0
*~Emericas Finest~*
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Jul 2004
From: Maryland
Status: Offline
Text Record: 15-9
IP: 0825 899A

10/10... don't know what to say... Beyond sick open mic... If you bitches don't check this one out ima kill your bitch ass... Both verses fire
__________________
RETIRED
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-04, 09:23 PM   #3
streetryda
Puttin MD On The Map
 
streetryda's Avatar
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Maryland
Status: Offline
Text Record: 9-3
IP: 408D D2A2

uppin thanks for the feed fam.......lets get more comin......
peace~1
__________________


.:Retired:.
Send a message via AIM to streetryda   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 12:40 AM   #4
Heroic Verse
*It's About Time RapVerse Got A New Generation Of ReInforcements***Aiming On My Next Target*
 
Heroic Verse's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 2-1
IP: 93C0 D1DD

Both Verses Was Fire Fam,I'm Talking Decent Vocab Structure And All10/10
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 07:34 AM   #5
Speats
Hell yeah
 
Speats's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,248
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 10-8
IP: FD58 E3D6

yah pretty amazing man too...perfect scoor too
Send a message via AIM to Speats Send a message via MSN to Speats   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 09:15 AM   #6
Loveliss Grandz
***cITYSLICka***
 
Loveliss Grandz's Avatar
 
Posts: 521
Joined: Oct 2004
From: BrOOklyN,N.Y.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: C729 E597

10/10..................beggining To End Was Gr8. Keep Em Comin'
__________________



I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY,
ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me
N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there)
EVIL............backwards =............LIVE
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 05:42 PM   #7
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 5285 DC82

.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.
.^^^^.
.^^.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 06:31 PM   #8
streetryda
Puttin MD On The Map
 
streetryda's Avatar
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Maryland
Status: Offline
Text Record: 9-3
IP: 408D D2A2

uppin this peeps thanks for all this feed lets get more comein.....
__________________


.:Retired:.
Send a message via AIM to streetryda   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 07:39 PM   #9
JJFLOWSUM_5
Flyweight
 
JJFLOWSUM_5's Avatar
 
Posts: 129
Joined: Nov 2004
From: st.louis
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3AE8 B82C

Ey Dawg I Give U A 10/10 On Dat Shit...erthing U Did Was
Goog On Dis One..it Was Hott..holla
__________________


STL SOLDIA...KEEP REPPIN
Send a message via AIM to JJFLOWSUM_5   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 08:46 PM   #10
distilled
hullabaloser
 
distilled's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,459
Joined: May 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 5-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 07E0 A9F2

This collab was nice, wouldnt give it a 10.

streetryda: First I seen from you, pretty dope, well structured and lyrically was nice, not too cmoplex, pretty plain and simple.

"fi-del": Fam, I seen bettter from you man, dunno what you did here, but you didnt seem on form, Also, I think it looks better when you spell it correctly, you know, and set out the structure, Lyrically this was nice, flow was good, Cos I read em like I imagine it in audio lol, yeh you had good flow, stuck on topic and follow'd it all through, for that it's dope, but the grammar and shit let's it down.
Keep it up Fam, I know you can do dope, 1.
__________________

.The Council
Send a message via AIM to distilled Send a message via MSN to distilled Send a message via Yahoo to distilled   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 10:36 PM   #11
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 5285 DC82

thnx for the feed fam..
Your correct I proberly should of taken more time on this.That way I coulda perfected it. But somtime's your on point somtime's your tired..

up
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 11:21 PM   #12
Master Minded
Banned: Cheating
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
IP: 9D21 DBB5

StreetRyda this was nice, good flo and structure, fi-del was this was pretty good also, It sounded like lyrics to a song, I liked the idea of it, keep practicing you'll be dropping ten outa tens..... but for now..... 7.5/10
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-04, 11:33 PM   #13
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 5285 DC82

yo thnx for the "real" feed on this.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-04, 03:57 PM   #14
streetryda
Puttin MD On The Map
 
streetryda's Avatar
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Maryland
Status: Offline
Text Record: 9-3
IP: 408D D2A2

yeh man tru on what fi-del said.....upin thanks for all the feed and lets see some more...and distilled you will see more from me soon enough
__________________


.:Retired:.
Send a message via AIM to streetryda   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-04, 11:12 PM   #15
Kawn Flixx
FUCK STROBE
 
Kawn Flixx's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,115
Joined: Aug 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 70-13
IP: 28AD 5545

I'll give it an 8/10 good job fi del @ reppin the council

streetryder you killed this cuz

good job on both
__________________
The Competition


Send a message via AIM to Kawn Flixx Send a message via MSN to Kawn Flixx   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:35 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.