RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
Reload this Page Views..For Them 'Gangstas'
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-17-04, 02:07 AM   #1
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
Views..For Them 'Gangstas'
IP: 408D D2A2


why does everyone feel the need to act like guns solve problems
see their only causing 'em, always harming young and baring them
scaring them for life cuz tonight they getting confined behind bars
rewind it back to reinact the scene where the matter was carved
flesh and none the less there was death to an innocent bystander
witnesses say they saw bullets whizzing out of a nissan highlander
kid was only 16 on his way home but instead got shot in his dome
not even honed on by the few assailants who still remain unknown
but evidence stacked up and fingerprints matched up to 3 people
search and seizure warrents to find a piece of metal that is lethal
cowardly way out of confrentations to murder without preminations
for heavens nation who has created these two deadly combinations
representation in court wont help, not even for accidental homicide
during the announcement of the verdit you could hear a momma cry
tears of joy but beers and toys cant reappear her little boy back
for this reason the 3 people are living in remorse of the day that
they unwillingly killed see they didnt intend for any of it to happen
packing guns is useles and these are my views of this threw rappin
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-04, 07:33 AM   #2
Speats
Hell yeah
 
Speats's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,248
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 10-8
IP: FD58 E3D6

damn thats good man...nice vocab and perfect structure...
Send a message via AIM to Speats Send a message via MSN to Speats   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-04, 03:10 PM   #3
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

thanks fam.......uppin for more feedback on this leave a link and ill return the favor no doubt
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-04, 01:41 AM   #4
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

uppin for some more feed....please dont sleep on this.....
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-04, 03:29 AM   #5
Zeke
Banned: Biting
 
Posts: 2,702
Joined: Nov 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-3
IP: 93C0 D1DD

Vocabulary Was Tight Mang, I Liked The Structure On This Piece Dopeness Mang.....The Flow Was Goood 8.5/10
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-04, 11:49 PM   #6
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

thanks fam uppin for more feed i left links so return it
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-04, 12:04 AM   #7
Viscosity
Nigga Ima OG.
 
Viscosity's Avatar
 
Posts: 738
Joined: Dec 2003
From: Chicago
Status: Offline
IP: 12BB 668E

this kind of Open Mic is old.. sorry, but thats just my view
i've seen this kind of O.M about 3,000,000 times..
this was just an ordinary.. your vocab was decent.. this was ok
nothin spectacular.. view decent standouts.. overall good piece tho
keep at it. try and get a new original topic, or an unusued not played topic
__________________
OG Status


My people skills are way better then yours, nigga..
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-04, 12:31 AM   #8
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

ohh well im kinda new and i didnt expect this to be a played topic.......ohh well not much i can do now............cept to upp this for more feed....thanks for yours^^....
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-04, 03:39 PM   #9
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

uppin.............leave links and ill return the fav....
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-04, 06:34 PM   #10
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

uppin........dont sleep on this cuz im new
so make me wana stay or ill go RB
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-04, 09:26 PM   #11
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

uppity up uppin
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-04, 10:24 PM   #12
Kilo704
tha tightest thang in RV since Hang-man's rope*cough pussy hole*
 
Kilo704's Avatar
 
Posts: 334
Joined: Dec 2004
From: north-cock-it-back (nc 4 da lames)
Status: Offline
Text Record: 4-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: DB6F A83E

good shyt mayne. keep dat comin yo. i really liked tha 1st 3 lines cuz really progressed in 2 tha rising plot of tha whole verse. u got skillz yo. ay return da favor and drop feedback in my open mic
__________________
- this could be you. if you have ever witnessed or experienced unwilling intercourse with a Zoo animal please call 1-800-CARNIVAL-BIATCH extention:BUTT RAPE

All Out Warfare open mic
me vs. magical
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-04, 03:26 PM   #13
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

uppin for some more feed.....willl be returned jus leave a link
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-04, 01:04 PM   #14
Untraceable
..Rv Sucks..
 
Untraceable's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,433
Joined: Dec 2004
From: p-ville
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-2
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 2-1
IP: 408D D2A2

uppity uppity up up up
__________________
Send a message via AIM to Untraceable Send a message via Yahoo to Untraceable   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-04, 01:12 PM   #15
X-§tatic
Flyweight
 
X-§tatic's Avatar
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sep 2004
From: ::Vile~NileZ::
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: ED58 7340

this was dope. i liked the flow the best in this piece. the rhyme scheme was ok, it did create an ill flow though. you had multiple words rhyming within bars and in between other rhyming words. at some parts you were complex but not that much..so if thats what you were trying to do you need to improve on that a little bit. the bars were a little stretched too. that was another weakness of this piece. but the rhyme scheme was dope and so was the flow. nice job

7/10
Send a message via AIM to X-§tatic Send a message via Yahoo to X-§tatic   Reply With Quote
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:16 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.