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Old 12-26-04, 11:13 AM   #1
Black Queen
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Fear of Love

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A tension that keeps me away,
Locked up inside my world with no light of day,
Affraid of love, as if it's joy would kill,
Any remainings of my sanity, any emotions that I have left to feel,

Within my heart, I hope for it, the day to come,
Where I would meet this angel that will be the one,
And ease my pain, the burden of walking this world eyes open,
With no pride, no smiles all but briefs moments that keeps me hoping,

Even a smile with no meaning, deploys stories I conseal within me,
Pictures or dreams unraveling possibilities that makes me stress and weary,
Constantly day dreaming but trying to focus on reality,
Yet the thoughts speak too loudly,

Sometimes I wish I would not have these thoughts,
Its beginning to drive me crazy, I just feel fucked up,
The craving so strong, invading my mind, i'm confused,
Yearning for true love, so badly do I wish for it, but inside I lose,

Not knowing what to expect, yet I choose to foretell,
Never for better always for worse, for everytime i've fell,
Slowly do I kneel towards the edge of surrender,
It is only because I love so much, that I feel like im a loser,

I would give it all but I do not want to risk it,
The thought of being right or wrong makes me fear it,
I protect myself and deny the solitude,
Yet its eating me inside, but I still refuse,

Why am I so paranoy, why am I always on the run?
I feel so seperated from the world, from everyone,
Almost believing that its impossible for me to find,
A happyness so pure and true, one love of mine.
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Old 12-26-04, 12:41 PM   #2
DQ
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I am totally feeling this drop cuz i perfectly understand what you are saying (own experience). Your vocab was good, not overdone and not too basic. The emotion and wordplay was nice...i liked the way you approached the topic...really feeling your drop! Nice one girl, keep on dropping your stuff cuz i'll be looking forward to it!!!

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Old 12-26-04, 01:10 PM   #3
EastCoast
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^yeah...like she said, i like how you approached the topic...i also think the vocab wuz good, didnt over do it likr a lot of people on rv do...overall, a good piece...only thing i saw that needed any improvement wuz that some the lines were either too long or tooshort...keep droppin em gurl, and keep reppin "HEAVY HITTAZ".....~1~
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Old 12-29-04, 10:10 AM   #4
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yea thx fo da feedback uppin
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Old 01-01-05, 07:56 PM   #5
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uppin fo feedback
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Old 01-05-05, 10:20 PM   #6
MC IgGY
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damn everythin i have read by ^^^ is hot.
u a mad good poem ma
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