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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-03-05, 05:39 PM
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#1
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Artist, that simple
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New *Hottest Track on RV : BREATHE - G Deuce* New
IP: E602 199D
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Grim |
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03-03-05, 09:47 PM
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#2
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Flyweight
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IP: 0825 899A
you need more emotion on the hook like fab had..................static on the mic a lil bit.....................but the first verse rips for real, so nice job on that............again more emotion on the hook......................second verse when you hit the word HIgh or sky or something the mic peaked to loud..........not as good as the first verse..........ad libs might b too loud...................turn down the volume on your backups, and if you can lose the static on the mic, do the hook with more energy...............3rd verse is better then 2nd as far as lyrical wise talking..........again I think your vocals are too loud...........thats all I can say really, but you have a good rhyme scheme and you just need minor adjusments. hit me back
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=179850 |
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03-07-05, 09:51 PM
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#3
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Geaux Fuck Yourself
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IP: 82F3 329C
Yeah more emotion I told you that on AIM tho....
Hot drop... Pure Deuce... And I enjoyed it alot... not going to bump it at school unlike Da Lyrical Assassin but a song to listen to at home to get hyped to... Midwest yo... check my audio... Graduate... make fun of me... 
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King of Missouri I Fucked Mack's Mom. And I Liked It. -[p-S-a]- 2003-2009 Quote:
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03-07-05, 10:14 PM
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#4
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The Ups and Downs of Life
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IP: 13A4 AD49
yeah somethings wrong with the hook like was said.... im not gonna hate on you, I just feel like to hop on this beat and be able to kill it you need great production cuz your not including any of the vocal samples in your verse, and the beat don't have the impact that it does in the original track... verse wasn't a bad verse lyrically, I just dont think it was for this track- sounds like you just need more practice infront of the mic and in mixing it down and you could make some good quality tracks... second verse i heard you incorporate the first vocal sample... but yeah, like i said verses are o.k, bad production, wrong beat... Audio Assistance has lots of usefull shit... sounds like your using a crystal mic, or have it down your throat... if the first is the case invest, and if the second, step away a little bit... keep dropping...1
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03-07-05, 10:32 PM
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#5
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IP: 7573 1489
GOHD...chorus has the wrong effect....
flow is betta then before...damn...all shit is my words...lol...need betta delivery if u ask me....if u woulda had more emotion and delivery..u wouldnt have had to blast the dam n verse..lol... lyrics is straight tho...vocab isnt that big like u made it seem on ya page... fix the volume...ckuz its to loud...fix the delivery and emotion and this track should be betta..
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 [.Diabolic:.] |
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