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03-14-05, 12:03 PM | #1 | |||||
Obscure Intelligence
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kamikaze ((Nice Peice))
IP: 4BD0 87AE
kamikaze
Lost, as I walk along the snow the memories drop down one by one… So beautifully, but that’s not what I’ve become, I feel so numb… Not the linkin park kind, its enchanting to be leaving it behind… Not looking back because then ill just trip over the bump, blind… The bump in the road that always turns into a wall… Steel reinforced with a life lost, and there tortured spirit calls… Face ghost white, left to rot where I fall, worst kamikaze of them all… Just keep walking, stumbling along a path of climactic despair… Bare the resemblance to a tattered house, no one cares… Died with a flare, a one way mission becoming one with the piston… As plane and body attack crafts leaving pistol incisions… Daddies gone but we keep missing the chance to just listen to his voice… Or to what the pack of people has to say gripping on to glistening choice... Flesh mutilates and bodies corrode hoisted on poles, leaving ghosts to the sea… They weren’t playing with a full hand; the cards dealt them shrapnel debris… Suffering, the beauty of a true falling angel charring in infinite decree… Achieving nothing while getting your life torched literally... Along with the sailors captains and more, targets disintegrated… Like my dreams while I’m dive bombing you, enough being intimidated… This is all that I am and all that I’m good for, left in a miserable sorrow… As the starlight flashes before my eyes darkness prevails, flagpole impales, home of the brave, not tomorrow…
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03-14-05, 07:02 PM | #2 | ||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: A3EA 639E
ight overall it was an ok piece but i'll give it 7.0/10 it could have been a lil betta in certain aspects like...structure was off completely...vocab was ok but needs a lil elevation...meta's were there a lil...multis were none there...but just work on it & u'll get there
make sure 2 return the favor in my battle: http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=180742 |
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03-15-05, 10:50 AM | #3 | |||||
Obscure Intelligence
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IP: 4BD0 87AE
KKK i will man holla at my outher verse brother
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03-21-05, 09:25 AM | #4 | |||||
Obscure Intelligence
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IP: 4BD0 87AE
Uppp Uppp Upppin For Some Fuckin Feedback
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03-21-05, 01:56 PM | #5 | |||||
Obscure Intelligence
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IP: 4BD0 87AE
uppin this open mic for real im getto for real
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03-21-05, 01:59 PM | #6 | ||||
im INFINITE bitches
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IP: 4154 4FB2
lmao getto u cant even spell it homie lmao naw good peice dogg structure was off
but overall ok 7/10 good shit but dont call yerself getto and not spell it right peeps will rip u for that
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http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=183314 PROPZ maximius muridius buckshot schema high dro non capisco |
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03-30-05, 12:00 PM | #7 | |||||
Obscure Intelligence
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IP: 4BD0 87AE
uppin this peice man holla
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03-30-05, 02:44 PM | #8 | ||||
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IP: 3240 794D
Drop a link to something you left feedback on or this will be closed
-Bone
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The Competition
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