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Bone is gay.
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Dying struggles
IP: 2098 F253
I press my voice against the silence held
In the autumn wind, drifting across the lands In search of the ear you lent me years ago And through the rustle of the leaves, fallen from the trees hands My voice is rising in a heated passion To the autumn sky, cycling the cooler air until evenly rationed Like the whispers chanted to your ears in yester years days It remains stuck like the dieing thrones, pressing against the leaves My voice struggles to drift above and into the seas And to the cool open sky, to scatter the message So far it’s entangled in the forgotten webs, dancing in the Breeze In the autumn sky where everything is deathly or dieing, I struggle to create anew |
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Odi et Amo
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IP: FE11 64E0
I enjoyed this piece, read it several times in fact. The concept you used here is interesting, I like how you worked it out. Found a great balance in your vocab: the reader understands everything and yet doesn't get the feeling that it's too basic. The strongest aspect was the imagery, I could really picture the wind, the rustle of the leaves, I could imagine the entire scene you portrayed. The emotion was strong as well, not always present on the surface but if you read it a few times, it's more obvious.
Nice drop! DQ
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Light Weight
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IP: 342A DA98
Quote:
cannot agree more. But work on your vocab and drop more everyday. I liked this alot actually.. check out my poem.. it's quite good. I need feedback and I am so under-rated! http://community.RAPVERSE.COM/showthread.php?p=2092510
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